25 Hilarious Modern Family Quotes to Live By
If you haven't already binge-watched this beloved sitcom, these witty one-liners will convince you to start.
Our Favourite Modern Family Quotes
Claire on the passage of time
“Look at them: A minute ago they were babies, and now they’re driving, and soon we’ll all be dead.”
—Claire Dunphy, Modern Family, Season 2, “The Old Wagon”
Jay on technology
“The minute they got rid of rotary phones, everything went to hell.”
—Jay Pritchett, Modern Family, Season 6, “Connection Lost”
Here are 15 funny tweets about technology everyone can relate to.
Gloria on motherhood
“In my culture, mothers are very clingy to their sons. In fact, the leading cause of death among Colombian women is when their sons get married, but I’m not like that.”
—Gloria Pritchett, Modern Family, Season 2, “The Old Wagon”
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Phil on seizing opportunities
“When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like, ‘What?!'”
—Phil Dunphy, Modern Family, Season 4, “Schooled”
You’ll want to memorize these funny comebacks.
Mitchell on knowing where your food comes from
“I don’t wanna meet anything on Monday that I’m gonna eat on Friday.”
—Mitchell Pritchett, Modern Family, Season 4, “Bad Hair Day”
These silly food tweets are sure to make you smile.
Cameron on travel
“I might be coach, but I like to travel first class!”
—Cameron Tucker, Modern Family, Season 6, “Fight or Flight”
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Jay on practical jokes
“That’s the whole point of a surprise party: you take somebody you really love and you play ’em like a fool.”
—Jay Pritchett, Modern Family, Season 4, “Party Crasher”
Don’t miss these easy April Fool’s pranks to play on your family.
Phil on success
“Success is one per cent inspiration, 98 percent perspiration, and two percent attention to detail.”
—Phil Dunphy, Modern Family, Season 4, “Schooled”
It doesn’t have to be Pi Day to find these math jokes funny!
Haley on higher learning
“No one wants to think at graduation! It’s graduation, the time when we celebrate being done with thinking.”
— Haley Dunphy, Modern Family, Season 2, “See You Next Fall”
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Alex on failure
“I let down my mom and dad today. And even worse, I let down my teacher.”
—Alex Dunphy, Modern Family, Season 3, “Phil on Wire”
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Luke on the digital age
“Books? Wake up and smell the Internet, grandma.”
—Luke Dunphy, Modern Family, Season 2, “Mother’s Day”
If you’ve ever provided tech support for your parents, you’ll relate to this hilarious story.
Jay on love
“Here’s the deal. Girls don’t go for all that romantic stuff. They go for power and success, and since you don’t have either one of those things… you’re gonna be the funny guy.”
—Jay Pritchett, Modern Family, Season 1, “Fizbo”
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Gloria on rituals
“The quinceañera is very important in the Latin culture. The moment the father dances with his little princess—I remember my own father holding my hand. There wasn’t a dry eye in the cartel.”
—Gloria Pritchett, Modern Family, Season 2, “Strangers On a Treadmill”
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Phil on keeping up with trends
“I’m the cool dad. That’s my thing. I’m hip. I surf the Web. I text. LOL: laugh out loud. OMG: Oh, my God. WTF: Why the face? You know, I know all the dances to High School Musical.”
—Phil Dunphy, Modern Family, Season 1, “Pilot”
(Sounds like Phil could use our guide to common text slang.)
Claire on being right
“I would love to be wrong, but I don’t live with the right people for that.”
—Claire Dunphy, Modern Family, Season 3, “When Good Kids Go Bad”
Here are more funny marriage jokes that are perfect for a wedding.
Manny on ambition
“You’ll never go broke playing to a rich man’s ego. Write that down.”
—Manny Delgado, Modern Family, Season 3, “Door to Door”
These inspirational quotes are sure to motivate you!
Lily on role models
“Belle’s a princess. She faced The Beast. She stood up to the townspeople. What have you done?”
—Lily Tucker-Pritchett, Modern Family, Season 5, “Other People’s Children”
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Phil on fear
“I am brave. Roller coasters? Love ’em. Scary movies? I’ve seen Ghostbusters like, seven times. I regularly drive through neighbourhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So yeah, I’m pretty much not afraid of anything… except for clowns.”
—Phil Dunphy, Modern Family, Season 1, “Fizbo”
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Mitchell on friendships
“It can be challenging finding playmates for an exceptional child. I don’t mean to brag, but that’s why I didn’t have any friends.”
—Mitchell Pritchett, Modern Family, Season 6, “The Cold”
These funny family jokes are sure to put a smile on your face.
Gloria on staying safe
“My mother thought that riding a bike was dangerous. She would say, ‘That’s how people grab you!’”
—Gloria Pritchett, Modern Family, Season 2, “Slow Down Your Neighbors”
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Cameron on school
“There’s a caste system at school. Academic teachers at the top, gym teachers at the bottom. It’s offensive and disrespectful, they treat us like we’re lunch ladies.”
—Cameron Tucker, Modern Family, Season 5, “Under Pressure”
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Luke on caring for the elderly
“Dad, we can always find cool stuff to do. Even if you’re old and in a wheelchair, I’ll take you to the mall and push you as fast as you wanna go. And I’ll take you to the top of a huge hill and just let go.”
—Luke Dunphy, Modern Family, Season 3, “Disneyland”
These funny phrases are definitely worth memorizing.
Manny on art
“What kind of man writes poetry on a computer?”
—Manny Delgado, Modern Family, Season 3, “Games People Play”
You don’t have to be a word nerd to find these grammar jokes hilarious (but it might help).
Claire on self-esteem
“You know how growing up we all have that voice inside our head that tells us we’re not good enough? Well, mine was outside my head driving me to school.”
—Claire Dunphy, Modern Family, Season 1, “The Incident”
These funny good morning GIFs will start your day with a smile.
Phil on fitness
“The only time I break a sweat is when we run after the ice cream truck.”
—Phil Dunphy, Modern Family, Season 9, “Chips and Salsa”
If you enjoyed these Modern Family quotes, be sure to check out this roundup of life lessons we learned from The Office.