“That sounds like a you problem.” This is one of those good comebacks for when your kids are making their lack of planning your emergency. Parenting is full of humour, as these stories can attest!
“Some day you’ll go far—and I really hope you stay there.” (via Thought Catalog)
Need help breaking the ice? These conversation starters make you instantly interesting.
“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.” This one comes from Dorothy Parker who was the queen of good comebacks. Her sharp humour fits right in with these witty bar jokes anyone can remember.
“Oh, you don’t like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck.” (via Some Cards)
Looking for more bon mots? Check out this collection of the best Downton Abbey quotes.
“I’ve been called worse things by better men.” Pierre Trudeau, upon hearing Richard Nixon insulted him (via Buzzfeed). Check out 100 more great Canadian quotes.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?” This quip from Some Cards is one of those good comebacks for the person constantly interrupting you. Witty and cutting, but still not as harsh as these 16 compliments that are actually insults.
“You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room.” (via Humoropedia)
These funny work cartoons will help you get through the week.
“Oops, my bad. I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an adult.” (via Pinterest)
Need a one-liner to spice up your wedding speech? Here are 170 hilarious jokes about marriage!
“Did I invite you to my barbecue? Then why are you all up in my grill?” This is from The Clique, a popular teen series by author Lisi Harrison. Harrison ruled when it came to good comebacks in her writing.
Check out the funniest one-liners on the Internet.
“I’m an acquired taste. If you don’t like me, acquire some taste. ” (via Thought Catalog)
These funny yearbook quotes will crack you up!
“Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you. I think you owe it an apology.” (via Pinterest)
If you want to keep the giggles going, check out these hilarious jokes for history buffs!
“Well, the jerk store called and they’re running out of you.” George Constanza of Seinfeld dropped this epic line.
Do you often have trouble making it to the punchline? Here are 75 short jokes anyone can remember!