20 Grammar Jokes Every Word Nerd Will Appreciate
Updated: Apr. 14, 2022Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar…
It was tense.
Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has claws and the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the ends of a clause.
Q: Why should you never date an apostrophe?
A: They’re too possessive
Q: What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“To.”
“To who?”
“Actually, it’s to whom.”
Here are more knock-knock jokes that are genuinely funny!
Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman…
…who went into labour and started shouting, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”?
She was having contractions.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.
“Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize’. Except at a funeral.” —Demetri Martin
Q: Which dinosaur knows the most words?
A: A Thesaurus
Q: What happened when the verb asked the noun to conjugate?
A: The noun declined.
Check out 75 more short jokes anyone can remember.
Q: Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?
A: Pencils confused him — 2B or not 2B?
I invented a new word! Plagiarism.
Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out.
It could spell disaster.
When I was young there was only 25 letters in the Alphabet?
Nobody knew why.
Q: Which word becomes shorter after you add two letters to it?
A: Short
Don’t miss this roundup of our all-time favourite wedding jokes.
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end. (Here are more silly light bulb jokes!)
Q: What should you say to comfort a grammar nerd?
A: “There, their, they’re.”
When I was a kid, my teacher looked my way and said, “Name two pronouns.”
I said, “Who, me?”
I before e… Except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbour.
“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” —Anonymous
If these grammar jokes put a smile on your face, be sure to check out our best-ever Canadian jokes.
