Share on Facebook

20 Grammar Jokes Every Word Nerd Will Appreciate

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

1 / 4
Funny grammar jokesPhoto: Robert Liwanag/Shutterstock

The past, present, and future walked into a bar…

It was tense.

Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has claws and the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the ends of a clause.

“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“To who?”
“Actually, it’s to whom.”

Q: Why should you never date an apostrophe?
A: They’re too possessive

Q: What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses

2 / 4
Pregnant woman jokePhoto: Robert Liwanag/Shutterstock

Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman…

…who went into labour and started shouting, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”?

She was having contractions.

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.

“Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize’. Except at a funeral.” —Demetri Martin

Q: Which dinosaur knows the most words?
A: A Thesaurus

Q: What happened when the verb asked the noun to conjugate?
A: The noun declined.

Check out 75 more short jokes anyone can remember.

3 / 4
Shakespeare grammar jokePhoto: Robert Liwanag/Shutterstock

Q: Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?

A: Pencils confused him — 2B or not 2B?

I invented a new word! Plagiarism.

Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out.

It could spell disaster.

When I was young there was only 25 letters in the Alphabet?

Nobody knew why.

Q: Which word becomes shorter after you add two letters to it?
A: Short

Don’t miss this roundup of our all-time favourite Reader’s Digest jokes.

4 / 4
Light bulb grammar jokePhoto: Robert Liwanag/Shutterstock

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end. (Here are more silly light bulb jokes!)

Q: What should you say to comfort a grammar nerd?
A: “There, their, they’re.”

When I was a kid, my teacher looked my way and said, “Name two pronouns.”

I said, “Who, me?”

I before e…except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbour.

“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” —Anonymous

If these grammar jokes put a smile on your face, be sure to check out the best-ever Canadian jokes.

Reader's Digest
Originally Published on Reader's Digest