After He Cheats
It is estimated that 60% of men have extramarital affairs, leaving more than half of all women in relationships hurt and confused. Leaving a cheater is usually the first option for many women, but some are willing to give their man a second chance. It’s never easy, so here are five tips on how to work things out if you decide to take your guy back.
1. Follow your heart.
When your man admits to having strayed, you’ll get a lot of advice from family and friends that may usually fall along the lines of, “Dump the cheater!” However, do remember that you are the one that is in the relationship, not them. You and your guy have a history, so if you feel you can trust him again and you both really want to make the relationship work, then ignore outside influences and follow your own instincts.
2. Find out the reasons for his infidelity.
One of the main reasons for a disintegrated relationship is lack of communication. The situation you are in now warrants a talk: he may not want to discuss it and just go straight to the making up, but you need to find out why he cheated. There’s no need to ask about the details (who she is, how often they met up and where), but find out why he felt he had to cheat, as well as what he or you (or both) may have done in your relationship that compelled him to go to another woman.
3. Learn to trust him again.
Having to deal with a straying boyfriend or husband can be one of the hardest things a woman has to face, so learning to trust your guy again is most definitely not easy. However, after he’s owned up to his mistake and apologized, it is you who made the choice to forgive him and take him back. Do not rub his infidelity in his face whenever you guys hit a rough patch, and don’t hang it over his head for the rest of your lives. Learn from it, and move forward.
4. Get counselling.
If forgiving and mending your relationship is easier said than done, visit a relationship counsellor for help. It is very important that the both of you go together. A counsellor will listen to your situation, figure out where the problems in your relationship lie and make suggestions as to what you can do to overcome these obstacles. It will help both you and him understand your problems on a deeper level, minimizing confusion and frustration.
5. Know when to let go.
Is there a reason why you’re hanging onto your relationship? It can be very difficult to let go, as well as resign yourself to the fact that your relationship has failed. However, if you’re making it impossible for your guy to seek forgiveness and you truly can’t get the image of him and another woman out of your head, you won’t be able to trust him fully. If that is the case, maybe you would both be happier in the long run if you just put an end to your relationship.
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