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How to Be a Better Lover in 6 Easy Steps

Has sex become a tired routine? While hormones may deplete with age, nurturing your passion can refuel the fire. Try these simple suggestions to put the heat back into your bedroom encounters.

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How to be a better loverPhoto: Shutterstock

How to Be a Better Lover: Plan Your Encounters

Time has a habit of slipping away, becoming filled with activities you didn’t plan (even if it’s just watching television). If you want to be a better lover for your significant other, schedule your adventures so they don’t get away from you. Call them dates, if you like. Planning to make love creates anticipation and piques interest. You don’t have to go anywhere or do anything special. Set aside an evening, or a morning or an afternoon if your days are free, just for each other. Here are 40 more simple romantic ideas worth trying.

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How to Be a Better Lover: Change Your Routine


If you and your partner have been together a long time, chances are you have a fairly established pattern when it comes to having sex. (Here are some more ways marriage affects your health.) The next time you find yourself starting your regular ritual, stop and make a change. It doesn’t have to be anything major. Shower together instead of separately, light scented candles, or massage each other with heated body oil. Play music that you heard on your first date. Wear something surprising (or even naughty!) to bed. Even very small changes can give your love life a new sense of excitement. Or consider a change of venue. For instance, check into a hotel for a romantic getaway.

Here’s what you need to know about sex in your 40s.

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How to be a better lover - enjoy itPhoto: Shutterstock

How to Be a Better Lover: Slow Down and Enjoy It

 

Even though it’s natural for your body to slow down, your brain may still be telling you to move things along at a faster pace. Relax and enjoy the journey. Explore new ways to stimulate your partner outside of intercourse. Take pleasure in both giving and receiving, and let things unfold at their natural pace.

Did you know that some foods can actually kill your sex drive? Avoid eating these anaphrodisiac foods if you’re in the mood for love.

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How to be a better lover - try different positionsPhoto: Shutterstock

How to Be a Better Lover: Try Different Positions

 

Sometimes health issues make your formerly favourite lovemaking positions uncomfortable or even impossible. If arthritis or a similar condition is a problem, try side-to-side positions, which relieve any need to support yourself or accommodate your partner’s weight. Seated positions let you vary the depth of penetration while giving you additional support (especially if you place your back against a wall or the back of a chair). If a man has difficulty maintaining an erection, he may want to try lying on top of his partner with his legs outside hers so that she can further stimulate his penis by squeezing her thighs together. Get to know the most common causes of erectile dysfunction.

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How to be a better lover - spread the lovePhoto: Shutterstock

How to Be a Better Lover: Spread Out the Love

 

It’s great when you have the whole afternoon to indulge in sex, or an evening when you are not tired. But this isn’t always the case. Rather than rushing through a “quickie,” try breaking off your lovemaking and returning later to pick up where you left off. A man may find that he’s enjoyed a sexy session of giving pleasure to his partner even if he hasn’t experienced orgasm himself.

Psst—this is exactly how long men and women want sex to last.

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How to be a better lover - sleep togetherPhoto: Shutterstock

How to Be a Better Lover: Savour the Experience

After sex, delight in the comforts of lying beside each other. Use the time to talk, or simply drift off to sleep together.

Next, get to know the best foods to boost your sex life.