1. Be Vocal About Things You Like
Boredom, frustration and everyday irritations can douse the spark between you and your partner—and more of the same certainly won’t feed the flame. Making the good stuff your top priority will. First, consider that it takes up to 20 positive statements to outweigh the harm done by one negative one. So compliment your girlfriend on her new shoes, or your boyfriend on his new blue shirt. Thank him for helping around the house. Dial her office for a quick “thinking of you” check-in. Be sure these compliments and thank-you’s are heartfelt and specific, and make eye contact when you smile.
Once you take this approach, you’ll realize that, in addition to knowing how to push your partner’s hot buttons, you know how to push his or her joy buttons too (and we don’t just mean sex). After all, that’s how this whole thing started. It won’t be long before you appreciate that it’s always the right time for small acts of love, like sharing a long kiss before you turn in each night.