Funny Dog Jokes That’ll Have You Howling With Laughter

Having a "ruff" day? These hilarious dog jokes will have you rolling on the floor laughing.

Dog Jokes - PoodlePhoto: /

These Dogs Jokes Will Hit Your Punny Bone

Q: ​​What do you call sleeping puppies?
A: Hush Puppies

It was raining cats and dogs the other day.
I almost stepped in a poodle.

Q: What’s the coolest dog?
A: A pup-sicle

Q: Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
A: Because frost bites

Q: Which dog breed loves living in the Big Apple?
A: A New Yorkie

Q: Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
A: Because all he ever said was “Rough, Rough”

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Old Dog Jokes, New Tricks

I watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought “Wow, dogs are so easily entertained”. Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.

Q: What do you call a magic dog?
A: A labra-cadabra-dor

Q: What trick did the loaf of bread teach the dog?
A: Roll over!

I named my dog Stay, so I can say, ‘Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!’
—Steven Wright, comedian 

Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!

Q: Why is it called a litter of puppies?
A: Because they’ll trash the place.

I asked my dog what he’d actually do if he caught the Fed Ex person, and he admitted he hadn’t thought that part through yet.

Here are 25 purr-fectly hilarious cat GIFs for every occasion!

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Paws-sionate Parenting

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m The Beatles.
—Bill Maher, comedian 

I refuse to take my dog on road trips anymore.
He can be such a bark seat driver.

You don’t have to save so your dog can go to college and then find out after they graduate that they want to be an actor.
—Jim Gaffigan, comedian

Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on.

Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? No pockets.
Jerry Seinfeld, comedian

My dogs love me. Of course, by “love” I mean “poop” and by “me” I mean “everywhere”.
—Dana Gould, comedian 

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Bone Appetit

Q: What do you call a dog that has been left outside in the cold for an extended period of time?
A: A chili-dog

Most of being a dog owner is yelling WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH

Did you hear the one about the dog who ate a bunch of garlic?
His bark was worse than his bite.

“I better not eat that.” -no dog ever

Q: What’s a dog’s favourite food?
A: Pawsta.

Q: When you cross a sheepdog with a rose, what do you get?
A: A collie-flower

If these dog jokes gave you a giggle, don’t miss our countdown of the funniest knock-knock jokes of all time!