75 Short Jokes to Make Anyone Laugh
For when you need the laughs to come fast!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
I invented a new word:
These funny good morning GIFs will start your day with a smile.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Don’t miss our roundup of the best Reader’s Digest jokes of all time.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Don’t miss these clever grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
These funny Monday jokes will help you make it through the week.
Q: Who’s there?
A: Control Freak.
A: Okay, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
Here are more knock knock jokes that are genuinely funny!
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
A woman in labour suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
If that made you smile, you won’t want to miss these funny physics jokes.
Why did the chicken go to the séance?
To get to the other side.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business!
Memorize these funny jokes for National Tell a Joke Day (August 16)!
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrgh!
Impress a history buff with these hilarious history jokes.
Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.
These are the funniest lawyer jokes of all time.
A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you…”
For more funny jokes to make everyone laugh, check out this roundup of hilarious tweets!
Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?
Because you should never drink and derive.
These smart light bulb jokes are truly illuminating.
What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?
The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.
Keep these funny holiday jokes in mind for your next party.
What’s the different between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
Here are 25 funny cat GIFs that are purr-fect for every occasion.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?
“Curses! Foil again!”
Here are 50 of the best knock knock jokes for kids.
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
Thanks— I’ll never part with it!
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Will you be toasting a bride and groom in the near future? These funny wedding jokes could come in handy.
What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little horse.
Found that funny? You’ll love these corny Halloween jokes.
What did one hat say to the other?
You wait here. I’ll go on a head.
Check out our countdown of the 100 funniest quotes of all time.
What do you call a magic dog?
Don’t miss this collection of our favourite funny dog cartoons.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
This tastes a little funny.
What’s orange and sounds like a carrot?
Check out the most Canadian headlines of all time.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
Check out our all-time funniest work jokes.
What is an astronaut’s favourite part on a computer?
The space bar.
Everyone can relate to these funny tweets about technology.
Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?
Because it was cultured.
What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.
He kept leaving little messages around the house.
Calling all word nerds! You’ll love these clever thesaurus jokes.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
These funny sleep jokes will have you laughing in bed.
Time flies like an arrow…
Fruit flies like a banana.
It doesn’t have to be April Fool’s Day to appreciate these hilarious real life prank stories!
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
Check out more cheesy pick up lines that are good for a laugh (if not love!).
Where does Batman go to the bathroom?
For more groan-worthy dad jokes worth of Phil Dunphy, check out our favourite Modern Family quotes of all time.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
These funny tweets about food are sure to put a smile on your face.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
These silly cow jokes will lighten your moo-d.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
These hilarious golf jokes are better than a hole in one.
What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?
Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.
Don’t miss this roundup of dog jokes that’ll have you howling with laughter.
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
Don’t miss these funny tweets every parent can relate to.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
These bad dad jokes are sure to make you laugh out loud.
What did the cop say to his belly button?
You’re under a vest.
Find out more clean jokes you can share with the family.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Having trouble crafting the perfect message for a birthday card? Try these funny birthday jokes!
I poured root beer in a square glass.
Now I just have beer.
Check out these witty bar jokes anyone can remember.
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications.
Want to turn someone’s frown upside down? Try giving them one of these funny compliments!
What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
Here, parents reveal the funniest things their kids have said.
Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In case she needed to draw blood.
Don’t miss these funny doctor jokes.
How do you throw a space party?
Check out these up-and-coming Canadian comedians—and their best jokes!
The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight.
It doesn’t have to be Pi Day (March 14) to bring out these funny math jokes!
Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?
All of the fans left.
These hilarious DIY jokes will bring down the house!
What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?
A chew-chew train.
Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counsellor?
It needed help figuring out its problems.
These funny work cartoons were made for sharing at the office.
Why can’t male ants sink?
For more funny jokes to make anyone laugh, check out the best Canadian jokes of all time!