25 Funny Cow Jokes to Lighten Your Moo-d

In need of a good laugh? These legen-dairy cow jokes should do the trick.

Cow Jokes - Grass-Fed CowPhoto: Shutterstock.com / RD.ca

Short Cow Jokes For Rapid-Fire Cow-medy

Q: What do you call a grass-fed cow?
A: A lawn moo-er!

Q: What happens when you talk to a cow?
A: It goes in one ear and out the udder!

After the cow jumped over the moon, the other cows said “That’s udderly ridiculous!” and refused to jump. They were grounded beef.

Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

Nothing is ever black and white… unless you’re a cow, in which case, you’re both.

Q: What did the cow say to her misbehaving calf?
A: I am not amoosed by you.

Q: What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
A: De-calf-inated.

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We’re Milking These Cow Jokes For All They’re Worth

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin?
It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.

The secret service surrounded the president with dozens of cows—they were trying to beef up security.

Q: ​​Why are cows always broke?
A: Someone’s always milking them dry.

I’m looking now but I can’t see the cows at the moment, they must be camooflaged.

Q: Where do cows get all their medicine?
A: The farmacy.

Q: Where do cows eat lunch?
A: In the calf-eteria.

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Another Round of Legen-Dairy Cow Jokes

Q: What do you call a cow that talks to himself?
A: A solilocow.

Wanted to make a cow joke but you’ve probably herd ’em all.

Why was the cow so afraid of messing up?
Because the steaks were high.

Q: What subjects are a cow’s favourite?
A: Moosic, psycowlogy and cowculus.

Q: What’s a cow’s favourite holiday?
A: Moo Year’s Eve!

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Cow jokes - What do you call a sleeping bull?Photo: Shutterstock.com / RD.ca

The Laughing Stock

Q: Why did the cow win an award?
A: She was out standing in her field.

Q: What’s a cow’s favourite moosical note?
A: Beef-flat!

Q: What’s it called when a cow spies on another cow?
A: A steak out.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer.

Q: How does a cow get to the moooon?
A: It flies through udder space!

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and duck?
A: Milk and quackers.

If these cow jokes gave you a giggle, don’t miss our countdown of the funniest dog jokes of all time.