4 Ways to Make Romance Last
Find out how to choose the right person for you and how to keep the romance alive for years to come.
1. Shop for the Right Spouse
Did you know there’s actually a formula that predicts whether a marriage will succeed? Beatty Cohan, a psychotherapist in Sarasota, Florida, and co-author of For Better, For Worse, Forever: Discover the Path to Lasting Love, offers these predictors for a successful marriage:
Look to the Parents
Check out your beloved’s family background, particularly the parents’ relationship, to get a good idea of the behaviour he’s been exposed to. What we learned as kids, we often play out as adults.
Are there signs of alcoholism or other forms of addiction in the family? Be careful, there’s often a genetic link. Also, watch for a family history of depression or anxiety.
Identify how your potential partner communicates. Also pay attention to how he or she handles sticky situations and painful emotions.
Is There Compromise?
If you’re forever giving in, then you’ve got a problem. Compromise is one of the key elements of a healthy relationship.
Is There True Intimacy?
We’re not talking sex here, but the kind of intimacy that comes when he can clean up the vomit when you have the flu; when she invites your mother for Christmas even though he can’t stand the woman; when she has a hot bath and glass of win waiting for you after what he knows was a difficult day.
2. Show Your Love
Don’t just tell her you love her, show her. Karen Sherman, Ph.D., author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, Make It Last, offers these hints on little ways you can show your mate how much you love him or her:
- Surprise your partner with her favourite dessert.
- While he’s showering, draw a heart or a sexy note in the steamed-up glass.
- Leave a sexy voicemail, saying, “I’m thinking of you,” in a low voice.
- Tuck a sexy note into his briefcase or text it to her cell phone.
3. Light the Sabbath Candles Together
Not Jewish? No problem. A study conducted by researchers at Syracuse University finds that couples who participate in and value religious rituals, particularly holiday rituals, seem to have stronger marriages.
4. Get Some “Alone” Time Away From the Kids
One of the toughest times in a marriage is when you have young children. Finding alone time (okay, time for whoopee) takes creativity. So how about these creative tips culled from young parents we know?
- Keep them occupied. If the kids are old enough to play in the fenced backyard, throw 99 pennies out there and tell them whoever finds 100 pennies first wins a prize.
- Invest in hardware. That would be a lock for your bedroom door.
- Set the alarm. Wake up at 3 a.m., make love, go back to sleep.
- Hire a babysitter. Only this babysitter takes the kids out of the house while you and your partner steal some much-needed alone time.
- Take advantage of naptime. Who says you have to do the laundry while your two-year-old naps?