1. The Gift You Didn’t Like
‘Tis the season to exercise gratitude instead of rolling your eyes or complaining when you don’t get quite what you want. Even if you had hoped your partner would have bought you something different or you’re annoyed your mom knitted you yet another sweater you’ll never wear, it’s better to keep it offline and remember the value of family instead of the value of what was under the tree. “Do not post petty comments about gifts you didn’t like or who was cheap in your family,” says author and family and couple therapist, Deb Castaldo, PhD. “Those types of comments, even if you don’t name names, can be very hurtful and provide the fuel for more family conflicts.”
2. Bragging About All the Gifts You Got
While it might have been cool to compare notes about your latest Barbie Dreamhouse or rad bicycle you got when you were a kid, as an adult, sharing your extravagance and thus, privilege, with the world isn’t flattering. In fact, it could make you appear to be selfish and ungrateful for the blessings you’ve been bestowed or the luxuries you can afford to give to your family. “It can be fun to talk about what you’re going to buy your kids, partner or friends, especially when it’s extravagant, but remember others are not as fortunate as you and the holidays can be a reminder of the overdue mortgage, living paycheck to paycheck, and what won’t be under the tree this year. Be grateful and enjoy what you have, yet be sensitive to others lack of,” says Sarah Mandel, RN, LCSW. Another reason to keep those gifts off online? You run the risk of grabbing the attention of criminals, Mandel adds. “Tweeting or posting photos of your extravagant gifts can be an invitation for robbery. This is the time of year when crime is up and thieves look for that new 55″ flat screen TV or new loaded laptop to steal,” she says.
Take a page out of Santa’s playbook with our list of shopping dos and don’ts!
3. That Fight with Your Significant Other
Okay, okay, so your husband had one job and one job only—to pick up the hickory-smoked ham—and he forgot, and now you’re scrambling to find another alternative before your in-laws get into town. As tempting as it is to update your status with a snide meme about husbands or a sarcastic post that degrades men, Courtney Geter, marriage, sex and family therapist, says to take a deep breath and refrain for the sake of both your relationship and your community. “Oftentimes, we go to social media to get support from our friends or family. However, the fight you had with your significant other was not witnessed by anyone else. When you reach out, your friends are going to be biased toward you and want to support you. Although their intentions are to help you and make things better, it could create more tension in your relationship. Also, if your friends are mutual friends with your significant other, they may feel divided in wanting to support you but not ruin a relationship with your SO,” she says.
Uncover the most effective strategies for sorting out these common lover’s quarrels.