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17 Light Bulb Jokes That Make You Sound Smart

A smart light bulb joke: Is there such an animal? Indeed, there is! This breed of gag is known by its world-weary insouciance, obscure literary references, snarky jabs at intellectuals, and the need for the joke teller to look up words like insouciance before using them.

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Smart light bulb jokesPhoto: Shutterstock

How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.


How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? It’s just going to go out again anyway.


How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they’ll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

Want to find out how it feels to sound smart? Try out some of these clever jokes.

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Light bulbs designPhoto: Shutterstock

How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

100. One to change the bulb and 99 to write the environmental impact report.


How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week’s discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It was be continued next week. Meanwhile…


How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10,000—to give the bulb a cultural revolution.

Laughing at dark jokes doesn’t make you a bad person—just a smart one.

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Lit light bulbPhoto: Shutterstock

How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?


How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. The student holds the light bulb and the universe revolves around him.


How many Apple vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That’s propriety information. The answer is available from Apple on payment of license fee.

Check out the 70 Most LOL-Worthy Jokes in Reader’s Digest History.

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Vintage light bulbsPhoto: Shutterstock

How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.


How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two—one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


How many gym-rats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Six, one to do it and five to stand around and say, “Man, you’ve got such awesome muscles. You’re so cut.”

Here are 10 Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember.

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Light bulb close-upPhoto: Shutterstock

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one.  They don’t like to share the spotlight.


How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has to really want to be changed.


How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.

Classic jokes are oral traditions that get passed from person to person for decades. Here’s where they came from.

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Illuminated light bulbPhoto: Shutterstock

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

“None, son—I’ll just sit here in the dark…alone.”


How many college football players does it take to change a light bulb?

One, and he gets three credits for it.

Originally Published in Reader's Digest