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15 History Jokes Only History Buffs Will Understand

Test your history chops with these hilarious history jokes.

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Hilarious history jokes - two fingers peace signPhoto: Shutterstock

Roman rules

A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, “Five beers, please!”

If you’re not into history, test your smarts with these hilarious math jokes.

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History jokes from Ronald ReaganPhoto: Shutterstock

An executive order

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency—even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting. —Ronald Reagan

Check out these fascinating facts about America.

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History jokes about medieval knightsPhoto: Shutterstock

Dark humour

Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?

Because there were so many knights.

Here are more hilarious puns!

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History jokes about the MayflowerPhoto: Shutterstock

Spring fling

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims.

Trick or treat! You need to learn these corny Halloween jokes.

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A young, attractive Chinese woman walks along a street in Asia during the day with her arms crossed with two young Chinese men. They are all laughing as they walk. Photo: mentatdgt/Shutterstock

Marx’s drink of choice

Why did Karl Marx dislike Early Grey tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

Don’t miss these clever jokes that make you sound smart.

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Positive african american young woman in stylish eyeglasses for vision correction laughing while received funny notification on modern smartphone device sitting with literature book in modern libraryPhoto: GaudiLab/Shutterstock

French fighters

A Frenchman walks into a library and asks for a book on warfare. The librarian replies, “You’ll only lose it.”

Everyone in the world should know these common French words.

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Excited senior lady laughing outdoorPhoto: Olena Yakobchuk/Shutterstock

A royal response

What did Richard III say when a planning proposal was submitted for building parking lot?

“Over my dead body.”

Use one of these Shakespearean insults that still sting today.

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A presidential quip


In my many years, I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. —President John Adams

Check out the funniest Reader’s Digest jokes of all time.

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Portrait of cheerful female student laughing sitting in library satisfied with completing coursework making creative solution, smiling hipster girl received message with good advertising offerPhoto: GaudiLab/Shutterstock

Washington’s habits

Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?

Because he couldn’t lie.

Canadian comedians reveal their best jokes ever.

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Excited handsome man in casual wear satisfied with tariffs for mobile internet in roaming sitting on street, cheerful hipster guy laughing on funny message get on cellular mail holding coffee to goPhoto: GaudiLab/Shutterstock

A General Lee good student

What yearbook superlative was Robert E. Lee given at graduation?

Most likely to secede.

These light bulb jokes will make you sound super smart.

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History jokes about men refusing to ask for directionsPhoto: Shutterstock

Some things never change

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions. —Elayne Boosler, comedian

Check out these witty bar jokes anyone can remember.

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Attractive and young Indian woman smiling against a city background. She's wearing an ethnic orange outfit dress. Photo: mentatdgt/Shutterstock

Royal regrets

How did Louis XIV feel after completing the Palace of Versailles?

Baroque.

Try these funny jokes to defuse awkward situations at work.

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Two college students standing in corridor and chatting after their class. Two female college students talking and laughing after lecture.Photo: Jacob Lund/Shutterstock

Corsican roots

Teacher: Can you describe for me Napoleon’s origin?

Student: ‘Course I can!

Every grammar nerd will appreciate these grammar jokes.

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History jokes about Henry VIIIPhoto: Shutterstock

Numbers game

Who invented fractions?

Henry the 1/8th.

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Trojan HorsePhoto: Shutterstock

The fall of Troy

I believe in reincarnation because I know I was the Trojan guard who saw the horse and was like, “Wow, it’s stunning! Open the gates! Let that big horse in!” —Julio Torres, comedian

Here are more short jokes anyone can remember!

Originally Published on Reader's Digest