50 Corny Jokes Everyone Will Laugh at to Celebrate National Tell a Joke Day

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer, bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve food here.” Belly up to some more bar jokes, here.

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse.

What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh. These are the 20 grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.

What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. Tickle your funny bone with the best Reader’s Digest jokes of all time.

There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?” The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

Can’t get enough of the beautiful game? Check out these hilarious soccer phrases from around the world.

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless. Don’t think that’s the funniest joke ever? These are the one-liners we know you’ll love.

If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes. Want brilliant jokes from Canadians? Here you go.

After a crime, a detective noted that he thought it was foul play. The other detective said, “You mean, he was playing with birds?”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Brush up on the history of the world—in 27 dumb jokes.

What did the policeman say to his bellybutton? You’re under a vest.

Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage? Because every play has a cast. Can’t get enough of light bulb jokes? Try these 17.

What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

What kind of ghost has the best hearing? The eeriest. Here are more corny jokes for Halloween.

Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.

Do you celebrate “Pi Day” on March 14? Chances are, you’ll love these corny math jokes.

When do computers overheat? When they need to vent.

Where can you buy chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

Calling all Muggles! Here are 22 jokes only Harry Potter fans will find hilarious.

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.

How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes. Find the funniest joke for your Christmas party with these holiday jokes.

How do you tell if a vampire is sick? By how much he is coffin.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef! If your funny bone still needs tickling, here are the top jokes from the rising stars of Canadian comedy.

What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta.

What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste.

Toasting a bride and groom in the near future? These jokes about marriage are perfect for a wedding.

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi. Memorize these short jokes to be the hit at your next party.

Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

What do you call birds that stick together? Vel-crows.

Don’t miss these side-splitting jokes about lawyers.

What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.

Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

Got a bad case of the Mondays? These hilarious cartoons will help you make it through the work week.

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing…It just waved. These clever jokes will make you sound smart.

What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

Looking for more laughs? These funny yearbook quotes are guaranteed to crack you up.

What do you call a factory that sells good products? A satisfactory.

How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.

Don’t miss our rollicking roundup of the funniest quotes of all time.

What do cows most like to read? Cattle-logs.

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? If it had four doors it would be called a chicken sedan.

Need to defuse an awkward situation? These funny phrases could definitely come in handy.

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.

What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.

Here are 14 jokes only history buffs will get.

What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? No? Really? It’s making headlines! These hilarious dog puns will give you paws.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

How does a duck buy lipstick? She just puts it on her bill.

Consider yourself smart? Here are eight funny limericks only clever people will get.

Why are frogs are so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.

What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

Is it Friday yet? This roundup of funny jokes about work will help you make it to the weekend.

What do you do with a sick boat? Take is to the doc already. Next, check 50 bad jokes that you can’t help but laugh at.