The 61 Most Ridiculous Excuses People Actually Used to Get Out of Work
If you’re planning on playing hooky, you’re going to have to try a bit harder than these folks…
An employee couldn’t come in because his llama wouldn’t stop barfing.
An employee called in sick because he ate cat food instead of tuna and was deathly ill.
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Stuck on you
An employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.
An employee’s wife found out he was cheating, and he had to spend the day retrieving his belongings from the dumpster.
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What’s your poison?
An employee claimed his grandmother poisoned him with ham.
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Potential brain damage
The employee said that he couldn’t come to work because his fortune-teller had asked him not to step out of the house or he would suffer a brain hemorrhage.
Blowing the coop
An employee couldn’t come to work because she accidentally got on a plane.
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Walk of Shame
An employee had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where he was in the morning.
An employee had to attend the funeral of his wife’s cousin’s pet, because he was an uncle and pallbearer.
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An employee’s false teeth flew out the window while driving down the highway.
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An employee refused to come to work because his fish was unwell.
Something in the air
An employee claimed the ozone in the air flattened his tires.
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An employee was bowling the game of his life and couldn’t make it to work.
Show me the money
An employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.
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An employee said she was bitten by a duck.
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An employee was experiencing traumatic stress from a large spider found in her home, and had to stay home to deal with it.
The employee said he’d gotten drunk the night before and was now suffering from a hangover.
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An employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.
Oh happy day
An employee woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.
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Law and order
An employee’s dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation.
An employee was feeling too upset after watching The Hunger Games.
An employee had to mow the lawn to avoid a lawsuit from the Homeowners’ Association.
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An employee said a cow broke into her house and she had to wait for the insurance man.
An employee forgot he had been hired for the job.
An employee got a cold from a puppy.
An employee was blocked in by police raiding her home.
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Let them eat cake
An employee ate too much birthday cake.
An employee called in sick from a bar at 5:00 p.m. the night before.
Different time zones
An employee said he had to watch a soccer game that was being played in Europe.
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An employee has to take his pet turtle to visit the exotic animal clinic.
An employee said the wind blew the deck off their house.
An employee was late because they overslept because their kids changed all the clocks in the house.
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An employee couldn’t come to work because their mother locked them in a closet.
An employee ordered a pizza that was late being delivered, and they had to be home to accept/pay for it.
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Dazzled by the sun
An employee thought the sunrise was so beautiful that they had to stop and take it in.
An employee said their mother-in-law wouldn’t stop talking.
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An employee said it was too cold to work.
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Caution! Your beverage is hot
An employee’s coffee was too hot and they couldn’t leave until it cooled off.
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Took the road less travelled
An employee was an hour late because an astrologer warned them of a car accident on a major highway, so they took all backroads.
Blame the dog
An employee claims their dog ate their work schedule.