1. “But you’re so gorgeous!”
Although you might offer a compliment like this thinking it will boost your single friend’s spirits, it could be interpreted in a way that’s actually insulting on a much deeper level. Specifically, it could be read to imply the reason they’re single lies beyond surface appearances, and might be down to some flaw in character or personality. Contrary to popular opinion, beauty and charm aren’t a protective shield against feelings of loneliness, nor to do they provide an advantage in the gamble we know as “finding a suitable match.” Your friend’s attractiveness may spark the initial interest of a romantic partner, but it ultimately doesn’t improve their chances of a successful, long-lasting, or meaningful relationship.
2. “Don’t worry—you’ve still got lots of time.”
One surefire way to make a single friend anxious about getting older is to remind them that, somewhere, a clock is ticking. Although this comment often comes from a good place (it’s meant to reassure and comfort), it can actually makes things worse simply by assuming that your single friend feels some sort of pressure to meet an (imaginary) deadline.
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3. “I’ll tell you what the problem is…”
Just… Don’t. Any comment that begins with “I’ll tell you what the problem is…” gives you an air of omniscience over your single friend’s problems and personality. Finding a potential partner and building a fruitful and intimate relationship is never going to be easy (for anyone!), and there’s never just one reason a perennially single friend remains single. Judgmental, over-simplified statements like these not only ignore the delicate nuances of your friend’s situation, but also make the fundamental faux pas of suggesting that being single itself is a problem.
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