Decode the Outrageous Hospital Lingo That Doctors and Nurses Use Behind Your Back

Frequent flier

A repeat customer to the ER, often a patient with chronic medical problems who can’t afford to go anywhere else.

Weekend syndrome

When doctors covering for a colleague on the weekend won’t make important decisions, particularly end-of-life ones.

Code brown

A bed full of excrement. “Got a Code Brown in 214.”

Crump

To go downhill quickly or die. “The patient in 3 crumped last night.”

GOMER

Short for “Get Out of My Emergency Room” (a patient you dread).

Acute lead poisoning

Refers to a gunshot wound.

PITA

A “Pain In The A$$”.

FLK

A “Funny-Looking Kid.”

FABIANS

“Felt Awful But I’m Alright Now Syndrome.”

PMS

“Poor Miserable Soul.”

DINK

Patient who “Did Not Keep Appointment.”

D&D

“Divorced & Desperate”—a middle-age female who visits doctor weekly for male attention.

HIBGIA

“Had It Before, Got It Again.”

HONDA

“Hypertensive Obese Noncompliant Diabetic Adult.”

LOLINAD

“Little Old Lady In No Apparent Distress.”

Check out the 51 Funniest Things That Ever Happened at the Doctor’s Office!

Originally published as Decode the Outrageous Hospital Lingo That Doctors and Nurses Use Behind Your Back on ReadersDigest.com.