Decode the Outrageous Hospital Lingo That Doctors and Nurses Use Behind Your Back

Frequent flier

A repeat customer to the ER, often a patient with chronic medical problems who can’t afford to go anywhere else.

Weekend syndrome

When doctors covering for a colleague on the weekend won’t make important decisions, particularly end-of-life ones.

Code brown

A bed full of excrement. “Got a Code Brown in 214.”

Crump

To go downhill quickly or die. “The patient in 3 crumped last night.”

GOMER

Short for “Get Out of My Emergency Room” (a patient you dread).

Acute lead poisoning

Refers to a gunshot wound.

PITA

A “Pain In The A$$”.

FLK

A “Funny-Looking Kid.”

FABIANS

“Felt Awful But I’m Alright Now Syndrome.”

PMS

“Poor Miserable Soul.”

DINK

Patient who “Did Not Keep Appointment.”

D&D

“Divorced & Desperate”—a middle-age female who visits doctor weekly for male attention.

HIBGIA

“Had It Before, Got It Again.”

HONDA

“Hypertensive Obese Noncompliant Diabetic Adult.”

LOLINAD

“Little Old Lady In No Apparent Distress.”

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