9 Beard-Stroking Jokes to Get You Through Movember

Be warned: these hairy quips from Jimmy Kimmel, Hannibal Buress and others will touch the depths of your soul patch.

Movember beardPhoto: Shutterstock

Tim Seidell on goals

“I won’t be shaving this November, in order to raise awareness for how lazy I am.”

Myq Kaplan on honesty

“‘I have a beard’—a bald-faced liar.”

Here are 13 things you didn’t know about moustaches.

Ron Babcock on public perception

“When is your beard too long? When the comments turn from ‘Hey, I really like your beard!’ into ‘Hey…a beard!'”

Jackie Flynn on progress

“Do you think shaving cream really softens your beard… or is it just so you don’t lose your place?”

Here are four amazing uses for shaving cream—aside from shaving, of course!

Hannibal Buress on expectations

“If you’ve got a handlebar moustache, don’t talk to me like you don’t have a handlebar moustache. All I want to hear you talk about is Slinkys and kazoos and that’s it.”

Plus: 8 Recent Beauty Trends That Should Have Never Happened

Chris Hardwick on style

“Hipster nerds don’t appreciate things…even their curlicue moustaches look like a shrug. ‘Meh, I don’t wanna be on this guy’s face, either, but I can’t cut myself off!”

Check out these grooming products every man should get.

Sean Morey on the obvious

“My friend was looking at an old picture of me without a beard, and asked, ‘Did you grow a beard?’ No, I shaved my photos.”

If you laugh at these dark jokes, you’re probably a genius.

Dan St. Germain on power

“I was thinking about getting rid of the beard, but I’ve had it for so long that at this point it makes the decisions for me.”

Here are the 70 most LOL-worthy jokes in Reader’s Digest history!

Jimmy Kimmel on direction

“I learned that if you follow a man with a beard, he will lead you to a panel discussion on increasing your social media presence.”

Plus: 15 Fascinating Facts About Moustaches to Celebrate Movember

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Originally Published in Reader's Digest