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8 Funny Political Quotes (and Insults) You Can’t Help But Laugh At

Canada is a great country, but as far as put-downs go, we can learn a thing or two from our friends abroad, who've made slamming their opponents a form of high art.

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Labor Member of Parliament Tony BanksPhoto: David Fowler/Shutterstock

Downright dehumanizing

“The honourable Member is living proof that a pig’s bladder on a stick can be elected to Parliament.” —Labor Member of Parliament Tony Banks on Tory Member of Parliament Terry Dicks

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Paul KeatingPhoto: DAE Photo

Why call someone a coward when you could say this?!

“He’s like a shiver waiting for a spine.” —Paul Keating, Former Australian Prime Minister.

Run through the history of the world in 27 dumb jokes.

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Paolo RomaniPhoto: S. Sabawoon /EPA/Shutterstock

Too clingy

“[He clings] to data the way a drunkard clings to lamp posts.” —Former Italian Prime Minister Paolo Romani, referring to his successor, Silvio Berlusconi

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Nigel FaragePhoto: Rui Vieira/AP/Shutterstock

Sureyou don’t want to be rude?

“I don’t want to be rude but, really, you have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk.” —Former U.K. Independence Party leader Nigel Farage on European Council President Herman Van Rompuy.

Here are 16 compliments you didn’t realize are actually pretty insulting.

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Jonathan AtikenPhoto: Ken McKay/ITV/Shutterstock

Lost in translation

“She probably thinks ‘Sinai’ is the plural of ‘sinus.’” —Jonathan Aitken, a former Conservative Member of Parliament, on former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. 

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Vince CablePhoto: Ben Cawthra/Shutterstock

Is it just us, or do the best funny political quotes come from England?

“The house has noticed the Prime Minister’s remarkable transformation in the last few weeks from Stalin to Mr. Bean.” —British Liberal Democrat Vincent Cable on Tory British Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

For some more of the best in British insults, check out Shakespeare’s funniest put-downs.

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David Lloyd GeorgePhoto: Universal History Archive/Universal Images Group/Shutterstock

Quite a slimeball

“The right honourable and learned gentleman has twice crossed the floor of this House, each time leaving behind a trail of slime.” —Former British Prime Minister David Lloyd George.

Only history buffs will understand these 14 jokes!

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Winston ChurchillPhoto: Len Putnam/AP/Shutterstock

A zinger from the British Bulldog himself

“He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened.” —Former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill.

Next, check out these 75 short jokes anyone can remember.

Originally Published in Reader's Digest