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The 25 Funniest Christmas Jokes for Kids

Prepare yourself for some wholesome holiday LOLs.

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Ha-ha-holidays!Emma Kumer/rd.com

Ha-ha-holidays!

We’ve reached that time of the year again—the one that is most wonderful—and whether you’re gathering with the little ones in your life in person or virtually, it’s great to have a few Christmas jokes for kids up your sleeve. Funny stuff never goes out of style, and even some beloved yucks from your own childhood will likely make the smaller set crack up. After all, the best gift you can give anyone is joy.

Need to brush up on your LOL-inducing humour around the holidays? We’ve rounded up 25 of the silliest, corniest, and downright funniest children’s Christmas jokes. Don’t be surprised if they get the whole family giggling, from the young to the young at heart.

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How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit?Emma Kumer/rd.com

How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit?

Nurse them back to elf. Ba-dum-bump! Want to provide your family with a holiday brainteaser on top of these Christmas jokes for kids?

Check out these Christmas brainteasers that are impossible to solve.

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What is a Christmas tree's favorite candy?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?

Orna-mints! Here’s some interesting holiday trivia while we’re on the topic: According to the National Christmas Tree Association, it takes an average of seven years for a tree to grow tall enough to be ready for sale.

Planning your annual trip to the Christmas tree lot? This is the cheapest time to buy a Christmas tree in Canada.

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Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman?

He’s cool. By the way, did you know the tune “Frosty the Snowman” was written in 1950 by Jack Rollins and Steve Nelson? It was meant to capitalize on the success of 1949’s “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

Discover the history behind the oldest Christmas carol.

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Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?

Anything you want—he can’t hear you! It is said that the inventor of earmuffs is a man by the name of Chester Greenwood, who hailed from Farmington, Maine. Considering how chilly it gets in the New England state, this should come as no surprise!

Attention puzzle pros! Can you find the doll hidden in this Christmas puzzle?

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What do snowmen eat for breakfast?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes. The building of snowmen actually dates all the way back to the Middle Ages.

Like the real thing, these delicious snowman cookies disappear fast!

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Knock, knock!Emma Kumer/rd.com

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Donut.

Donut who?

Donut open this present until Christmas!

A little yuletide trivia for you: The United States Postal Service says it expects to deliver more than 900 million packages between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day! That’s a lot of presents.

If you haven’t started your shopping yet, get to it—starting with these 50 great problem solving presents under $50.

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What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

Rude-olph. Love reindeer? Rudolph was a character created for the department store Montgomery Ward as a marketing ploy, reports MeTV.

Learn how to make your own candy cane reindeer with these DIY Christmas decorations anyone can make.

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Where does Santa keep all his money?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Where does Santa keep all his money?

At the local snow bank. It was in 1890 that the first department-store Santa Claus was introduced, according to The Week.

Read these stories about meeting Santa that will fill you with the Christmas spirit.

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What did the grumpy sheep say when his friends wished him a Merry Christmas?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What did the grumpy sheep say when his friends wished him a Merry Christmas?

Baaaa humbug! Of course, the phrase “Bah! Humbug!” was made popular by Ebeneezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, but it actually dates back to the 1750s, notes CNN.

Learn about the secret meanings behind classic Christmas ornaments.

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What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

Here are 25 of the best riddles for kids—can you solve them?

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What do you call a greedy elf?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call a greedy elf?

Elfish. Perhaps the most famous modern-day elf is Buddy, the sweet, silly lead character in the aptly-titled comedy Elf. The Mirror reports the role was originally meant for actor Jim Carrey before ultimately going to Will Ferrell.

See what else is on our round-up of the best Christmas movies of all time.

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What do Santa's little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do Santa’s little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole?

Elf-abet soup! January has been proclaimed National Soup Month, which makes sense because it tends to be the coldest time of the year.

See how the holidays are celebrated from coast to coast with these joyful photos from across Canada.

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What's Frosty's favorite dessert?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What’s Frosty’s favourite dessert?

Ice Krispie Treats. The very first Frosty the Snowman television special premiered in 1969. A comedian by the name of Jack Vernon voiced the sweet character.

This is what Christmas was like during the Great Depression.

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What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke?

This one’s gonna sleigh you! If you’ve ever wanted to know more about reindeer, here’s a fun fact: Male reindeer actually shed their antlers in early December, which occurs after their mating season, reports the Orlando Science Center. But female reindeer hold onto their antlers all year long.

Instead of exchanging gifts this holiday season, try these 10 alternatives.

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Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?

He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone. It is believed that Vermont is the U.S. state that gets the most snowfall annually, on average, with somewhere in the neighbourhood of 89 inches each year.

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, here are the ways the holidays will look different in 2020.

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What do you call an old snowman? Water.EMMA KUMER/RD.COM

What do you call an old snowman?

Water. Contrary to popular belief, snow isn’t actually white. BBC Earth says it’s translucent—the reflecting light makes it appear white.

Here’s your guide to the best holiday episodes of TV shows on Netflix Canada.

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What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs? Candy canes.EMMA KUMER/RD.COM

What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?

Candy canes. Do you know the surprising history of the gingerbread man? It is believed that the first recipe for gingerbread surfaced in 2400 B.C. in Greece. The cookie dough wasn’t shaped into the form of men until many, many years later.

Don’t miss these 100+ funny holiday jokes to tell this year.

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What does the gingerbread man put on his bed? Cookie sheets.EMMA KUMER/RD.COM

What does the gingerbread man put on his bed?

Cookie sheets. Did you know that darker-coloured cookie sheets brown cookies faster? According to MarthaStewart.com, you may need to lower your oven’s temperature when using those, as opposed to lighter-hued cookie sheets.

Put this tip to the test with our collection of the greatest Christmas cookie recipes of all time.

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What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn’t prepare for his test on the Civil War? You'll go down in history.EMMA KUMER/RD.COM

What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn’t prepare for his test on the Civil War?

You’ll go down in history! Something that certainly didn’t go down in history (at least not well) was a competitor for the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer holiday special called Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey. TV Guide says the program aired in 1977…and was quickly forgotten.

Give your tree a second life with these clever Christmas tree uses for after the holidays.

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What’s the weather report every Christmas Eve? There's a 100 percent chance of reindeer!EMMA KUMER/RD.COM

What’s the weather report every Christmas Eve?

There’s a 100 percent chance of reindeer. If you’ve always dreamed of a white Christmas, the National Centers for Environmental Information says these are the best places to be on December 25 for the best chances of seeing falling snow: most of Idaho, Minnesota, Maine, Upstate New York, the Allegheny Mountains of Pennsylvania and West Virginia, the Rockies, and the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

Follow these expert tips for simple habits that relieve holiday stress and anxiety.

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How does the snow globe feel this year? A little shaken.EMMA KUMER/RD.COM

How does the snow globe feel this year?

A little shaken. Did you know that the snow globe was created by accident? HuffPost reports that it came about when a surgical-instrument mechanic tried to build a better light bulb. Whoops!

Here are 13 common holiday disasters—and how to fix them! 

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What kind of bug hates Christmas? A humbug.EMMA KUMER/RD.COM

What kind of bug hates Christmas?

A humbug. Did you know there are at least 13 different names for Santa Claus used around the world? There’s Sinterklaas in the Netherlands, Christkind in Germany (they also use Weihnachtsmann), Father Christmas in England, and Papa Noel in Latin America, to name a few.

Check out these quintessentially Canadian holiday traditions.

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What music do Santa’s elves like best? Wrap music.EMMA KUMER/RD.COM

What music do Santa’s elves like best?

Wrap music! While it isn’t easy to peg which Christmas carol was the very first, Billboard says that among those we know well, it could be “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.” There is a published version of that tune from 1739.

Follow these 99 genius tips that’ll make your holidays much better.

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Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They drop all their needles.EMMA KUMER/RD.COM

Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?

They drop all their needles. The Fraser Fir, Noble Fir, and Colorado Blue Spruce are among the best Christmas trees you can buy (though none will keep all of their needles).

Follow these tips on how to be more eco-friendly this season.

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Who delivers presents to baby sharks? Santa jaws.EMMA KUMER/RD.COM

Who delivers presents to baby sharks?

Santa Jaws. Of course, there’s an alternate joke to this one just for dog lovers. Who delivers presents to puppies? Santa Paws.

Next, check out the new Christmas movies to watch on Netflix Canada in 2020.

Originally Published on Reader's Digest