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50 Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help But Laugh At

Some bad jokes only deserve eye rolls and groans. But somehow, these manage to still be funny.

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50 best bad jokes of all timePhoto: ShutterStock

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting c–

MOO!

(Sorry. We had to start off this collection of bad jokes with one of the oldest in the book.)

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Close up portrait of beautiful young black woman laughing against wallPhoto: Shutterstock

If you’re Canadian when you go in the bathroom…

…and Canadian when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

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nature, summer holidays, vacation and people concept - close up of happy young woman lying on cereal field and covering face by handPhoto: Shutterstock

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam.

Sometimes the best bad jokes are the shortest. Check out these 10 short jokes anyone can memorize.

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Cute little blonde girl in her pajamas on bedroomPhoto: Shutterstock

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh.

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Senior mother sitting in cafe bar or restaurant with her middle age daughter and enjoying in conversation.Photo: Shutterstock

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

A can’t opener!

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Laughing babe in bed, overhead viewPhoto: Shutterstock

What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?

…Get it? Bad jokes don’t even need a punch line to be funny!

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Senior woman enjoying a laugh with her granddaughter. They are sitting on the sofa together.Photo: Shutterstock

There are three types of people in the world:

Those who can count and those who can’t. Check out these 25 clever jokes that’ll make you sound smart.

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group of multiethnic senior friends spending time togetherPhoto: Shutterstock

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta-way.

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Happy friends holding each otherPhoto: Shutterstock

Two muffins were sitting in an oven.

One turned to the other and said, “Wow, it’s pretty hot in here.” The other one shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!”

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Young mother with her 6 years old little son dressed in pajamas are relaxing and playing in the bed at the weekend together, lazy morning, warm and cozy scene.Photo: Shutterstock

I sold my vacuum the other day.

All it was doing was collecting dust.

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Asian kids happiness and smilePhoto: Shutterstock

What is Forrest Gump’s email password?

1forrest1

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Portrait of a beautiful liitle girl close-upPhoto: Shutterstock

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?

He won the “no-bell” prize. Check out the secret origins of these seven classic jokes.

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Man and woman dating in cafePhoto: Shutterstock

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.

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Two black race friends having fun with mobile. Friends ConceptPhoto: Shutterstock

What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum?

They’re both purple except for the rabbit. Here are 70 of the most LOL-worthy jokes in Reader’s Digest history!

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Young happy couple having fun talking laughing relaxing at home on couch, boyfriend embracing girlfriend telling funny joke sitting on sofa, humour in relationships, enjoying weekend togetherPhoto: Shutterstock

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm.

One asks, “What’s your favourite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

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Senior man talking with his adult sons in garden, close upPhoto: Shutterstock

I like elephants.

Everything else is irrelephant.

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Laughing couple cuddling in a hammockPhoto: Shutterstock

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

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Outdoor portrait of happy smiling couple in love having fun together. Young Caucasian man with tenderness looks at his laughing Latin beloved on the background of garlands of lightsPhoto: Shutterstock

Two guys walk into a bar.

The third guy ducks.

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Senior couple laughing while reading newspaper in bedroomPhoto: Shutterstock

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

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Laughing young woman wearing sunglasses driving a car with her girl friend , close up profile view through the open windowPhoto: Shutterstock

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

For drizzle.

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four friends laughingPhoto: Shutterstock

Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed some space. You won’t want to miss these 17 hilarious light bulb jokes that make you sound smart.

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Friends having fun in a cafe.Photo: Shutterstock

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An in-vest-igator.

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Closeup portrait of beautiful african young woman laughing against grey wallPhoto: Shutterstock

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality.

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Father and son laughing.Photo: Shutterstock

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

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Outdoor Portrait Of Loving Mother And DaughterPhoto: Shutterstock

Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it’d be a foot. These 18 math jokes will have you howling.

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Laughing woman in marine shirt with curly hair over white wall. Toothy smile and red lips.Photo: Shutterstock

The wedding was so beautiful…

…Even the cake was in tiers. Here are 170 more jokes about marriage that are perfect for a wedding!

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boy is laughing loudly in cafePhoto: Shutterstock

Why don’t dinosaurs talk?

Because they’re dead.

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Smiling senior employee discussing email with african colleague at workplace, happy older worker talking to black coworker joking about online computer work, aged and young managers laugh in officePhoto: Shutterstock

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Get it?

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Experienced mature female chief editor holding glasses in one hand and book in other, laughing at sarcastic style of narration while reading novel of popular author. Writing and publishing conceptPhoto: Shutterstock

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

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Close up side portrait of happy african american woman laughingPhoto: Shutterstock

What did the mime say to his audience?

Nothing. He held his character because he’s a professional. Next time there’s an uncomfortable silence at work, try these work jokes that can diffuse any awkward situation.

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Side view shot of fit young woman standing outdoors, looking away and laughing. Happy female runner in sportswear in morning.Photo: Shutterstock

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

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Happy latin mom and little daughter outside.Photo: Shutterstock

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

“Supplies!”

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Two young pretty girls in casual stylish wear laughing while sitting at cafePhoto: Shutterstock

It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad.

It’s a faux pa. Check out these 15 witty bar jokes anyone can remember.

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Japanese woman laughing at living room, sitting on red sofaPhoto: Shutterstock

What did the buffalo say when his son left?

Bison!

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Senior sportswoman laughing with female friend by sea pierPhoto: Shutterstock

What’s green and has wheels?

Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Pretty positive young woman with short haircut laughing in urban setting with night lights enjoying leisure time in New York.Happy hipster in stylish wear and eyewear having fun on megapolis streetPhoto: Shutterstock

My new thesaurus is terrible.

Not only that, but it’s also terrible. Don’t miss these 20 grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.

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Young Asian girl whispering gossip or secret to her friend with smile and laughPhoto: Shutterstock

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.

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Portrait of two attractive girls dressed in jeans blue and yellow jackets having fun and laughing against a black wall.Photo: Shutterstock

What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

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Closeup cropped portrait of happy and funny brunette woman smiling and laughing with hand on mouth, against nature meadow background with windy hair. People, travel and lifestyle concept. Cover mood.Photo: Shutterstock

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

“Oops!”

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Portrait of laughing couple standing together with mobile phonePhoto: Shutterstock

What did Blackbird say when he turned 80?

“Aye, matey.” Here are 22 Harry Potter jokes every Muggle should know!

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Portrait of happy young african american woman standing against white backgroundPhoto: Shutterstock

Three fish are in a tank.

One asks the others, “How do you drive this thing?”

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Coach spending time mentoring a student athlete.Photo: Shutterstock

What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear.

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Prosperous female employee enjoying coffee break while talking on smartphone near office. Cheerful happy businesswoman in corporate wear laughing during mobile conversation outdoors in city downtown Photo: Shutterstock

What do you call a man who can’t stand?

Neil.

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Business woman in spectacles sitting at her desk in office and laughing. Woman sitting in office with laptop computer on her desk.Photo: Shutterstock

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…

…but then I turned myself around. You’ll definitely want to see the best jokes from your favourite Canadian comedians.

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Close up shot of three young women having fun outdoorsPhoto: Shutterstock

Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece.

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Portrait of a young, attractive and elegant Indian Asian lady in a warm and cosy cafe. She is laughing in a natural, relaxed manner.Photo: Shutterstock

I don’t trust stairs.

They’re always up to something.

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Portrait of smiling young african man sitting at cafe with a friendPhoto: Shutterstock

Wife: “How do I look?”

Husband: “With your eyes.” Now that’s a dad joke if we ever heard one. Here are more groan-worthy lawyer jokes you’ll still laugh at.

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Mature Female Friends Socializing In Backyard TogetherPhoto: Shutterstock

What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

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two young beautiful females laughing talking having good time sitting in parkPhoto: Shutterstock

Have you heard the rumour about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.

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Young couple looking at photos on tablet computer laughingPhoto: Shutterstock

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows. Can’t get enough bad jokes? Don’t miss these eight funny limericks that only clever people will get!

Originally Published on Reader's Digest