Are You Sure You Want a Divorce?
If your answer is yes, here’s advice to help you through the emotional and financial upheaval

BY MICHELLE MAGNAN

Which is why Bolton was surprised by his legal fees. “On my end, they came in at about $15,000 to $20,000,” he says. While Bolton has been able to handle the financial burden, he says it’s not easy. “It can be crippling if it hits you at the wrong time,” he says. “I didn’t have a war chest of divorce money I had set aside.”

Divorce can be expensive, and unfortunately its prevalence isn’t decreasing. Last year Statistics Canada reported that well over a third of Canadian marriages would end in divorce before the 30th anniversary.

So you’re not alone if you’re concerned about how to save money as you end your marriage. Even in common-law relationships, separation can involve issues that require legal expertise.

Lawyers say there are ways to keep expenses down as you separate. Here are ten suggestions that, besides offering peace of mind, may help speed the process up and keep costs down:

1. Find the right lawyer.
Choosing legal counsel is the crucial first step in any divorce. There are bulldogs and there are puppies—the choice is yours. “There are all sorts of styles out there,” says Lonny Balbi, a Calgary lawyer with his own practice. “The first meeting with a lawyer is probably the most important because it sets the tone for what’s likely to happen.” So, do some research, ask friends for referrals and only work with someone you feel comfortable with.

2. Get organized.
To help your lawyer save time—and to save you cash—be prepared to do some homework, notes Karen Kear-Jodoin, a lawyer with the Montreal firm Robinson Sheppard Shapiro, on her list entitled “Ten Tips to Assist Your Attorney to Help You and to Save Legal Fees.” That includes obtaining documents such as birth certificates, contracts, income-tax returns, deeds, bank and credit-card statements. Kear-Jodoin also recommends clients keep a litigation diary to track expenses and information. It will help your lawyer prepare your case.

3. Know the costs.
An average divorce requiring legal help costs from a few thousand to $20,000 per person. “It’s not unheard of to have a divorce go on for five years or more,” says Julia Cornish, of the Halifax firm Sealy Cornish. Lawyers say the average length is one to two years. An uncontested divorce, in which the clients agree and do not proceed to trial, takes from a few months to a year and costs about $1,000 to $2,000 per person. The general rule: The longer it takes, the more it costs.

4. Be prepared for unexpected costs.
“The client sees the time you’re on the phone with them,” says Balbi, “but they don’t see the lawyer working behind the scenes on things like memos, phone calls and affidavits.” Often, the most expensive divorces are ones where children are involved. “Sometimes we need psychologists, records from doctors, letters from psychiatrists,” says Carla Courtenay, a Vancouver lawyer with her own practice. “All this gathering of evidence for a court trial over children is a cost many people aren’t expecting.”

She also says people often underestimate costs associated with property transfers and the ensuing tax consequences, particularly in complex cases where the couple has assets outside of Canada.

5. Act decisively.
Make sure you’re both ready for the divorce. Sometimes both parties agree they’re ready, when one person really isn’t. “People who are not ready emotionally will find reasons why they can’t conclude an agreement,” says Julia Cornish, adding: “Those are the divorces that drag on for years.”

In such cases, says Kear-Jodoin, “the emotional cost is very, very high. That’s why I encourage my clients to settle in a fair manner and move on.” And of course, children suffer, too. A recent study from the Research Data Centre program, a joint initiative by Statistics Canada, the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council and a group of universities, found that kids whose parents eventually divorce develop higher levels of depression and anti-social behaviour than children whose parents remain married, and that depression levels tend to increase after the divorce.

6. Be aware of your investments.
When a couple has stocks and businesses, there are costs associated with those assets. Karen Stewart of Calgary is one of about 200 certified divorce financial analysts in Canada. “There’s real financial destruction in divorce,” she says.

Because joint assets are essentially frozen while the details are worked out, they can often deplete. For example, selling stocks is not an option, even if the market is crashing. “The assets are almost frozen in time. Assets tend to deplete, and people tend to lose track of that.”

7. Keep perspective.
Lawyers agree that when clients are reasonable, things move faster. As emotion creeps in, costs tend to escalate. And when a divorce goes to court, costs jump significantly.

Kear-Jodoin handled a divorce where $15 million in assets was involved. The parties were reasonable and able to work with their lawyers to arrive at an agreement that cost them less than $7,000 in legal fees.

But in another case she handled, the divorcing spouses were determined to have their day in court. Rather than settling, each spent some $60,000 to battle for what came down to $8,000.

8. Consider mediation, arbitration or a collaborative divorce.
Mediation involves a neutral third party with special training to help the couple arrive at an agreement. Arbitration is where the couple authorizes a lawyer to hear each party’s side and make a binding decision.

Many lawyers suggest couples try mediation or arbitration combined with independent legal advice. Another less adversarial way to obtain a divorce is collaborative law. In this variation of mediation, says Courtenay, “the lawyers have been specially trained to work with each other and with clients in a collaborative setting.”

9. Check out other alternatives.
Divorce can be a do-it-yourself endeavour. If you’re dealing with a short-term marriage without kids, it’s an option. “There are divorce kits you can buy,” says Balbi. “It’s just filling out forms.”

Or consider other alternatives. Stewart, the divorce financial analyst, is divorced herself. She’s also a stockbroker and holds a Master’s of Business Administration in finance. “I should’ve been able to move through my divorce in a pretty pragmatic way,” she says. “In fact, it was the opposite.” Her own divorce dragged on from 2001 to 2004, with the bills for it topping half a million dollars.

That’s when she decided to do something about the traditional divorce system by starting her company, Fairway Divorce Solutions. A negotiator works with each divorcing spouse individually to resolve all issues related to their divorce. Lawyers are involved only at the end to handle the final paperwork. Stewart’s company charges between $6,000 and $25,000 a couple to move them through the process in 120 days.

10. Get a prenuptial agreement.
Balbi says a prenuptial agreement is especially worthwhile if you’re on your second marriage or if it’s a first-time marriage with significant money and assets involved. While it’s not fun for couples to plan for their marriage’s demise, it can save a lot of money in the end.

The average prenup—or “marriage contract”—can cost $1,500 or more per person, depending on its complexity. The contract can be created before or after saying “I do.”

Kear-Jodoin notes that if you live in Quebec, the laws surrounding marriage contracts differ from other provinces, making their use more limited there. Ask a lawyer for advice.

“Prenups don’t have to be negative,” says Balbi. “Everybody knows exactly what’s going on and they can focus on their marriage and not have to worry about the financial consequences.”

Devon bolton got his divorce in September 2006. He says he is recovering financially and emotionally, but says that any future marriage would have to meet one condition: “A bulletproof prenup.”

What do you think? Do people give up too easily on marriage today?

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