Secrets of Grade A Parents
Helping your child get ahead at school starts at home

BY STUART FOXMAN

When Carey Graham started Grade 1, he got a very special teacher. “She recognized my passion for learning,” says the now 20-year-old from Bishops Mills, Ont. “Every morning we’d sit down with workbooks and do writing and math exercises. And any time during the day, she could always be counted on to read to me. She always encouraged me to learn all I could about everything.”

This extraordinary teacher was his mom, Jeanne Lambert, who homeschooled Graham until high school. He’s now in his second year in the University of Toronto’s Peace and Conflict Studies program, having received a provincial “Aiming for the Top” scholarship. Graham is considering a law degree or a masters in political science down the road. He attributes his academic success to the foundation laid by his parents.

“They understood the importance of reacting to a child’s interests,” says Graham. “Every opportunity—whether building an addition to our house or a family trip to Quebec City—was used to enhance my learning.”

In 1979 Statistics Canada estimated that just 2,000 children were homeschooled across the country. By 1996 the provincial ministries of education put that number at 17,500—an increase of almost 800 percent. That’s a conservative figure given the lack of uniform homeschooling registration requirements in Canada. Some estimates put the actual number at anywhere from 30,000 to 80,000 students, with a growth rate of up to 40 percent annually.

While Graham’s type of education is becoming more and more popular, most people can’t give up the time or income to teach their kids at home, and many are more confident in mainstream schooling. But even if you send your kids off on the school bus every morning, you can still give them many of the benefits of homeschooling. After all, you’ve been teaching your children successfully since infancy, and that teaching role doesn’t end just because a child is in school. Parents need to remind themselves that no matter how qualified their child’s teacher, they are the ones who know their child best—what motivates and excites him, when he has the energy to learn.

“You can’t be a parent without being a teacher,” says Bruce Arai, a professor in the Department of Sociology and Anthropology at Wilfrid Laurier University in Waterloo, Ont. Arai has written widely on homeschooling and, with his wife, Tracy Appleton, a part-time university instructor, has homeschooled his own three kids, ages six, eight and ten. But their teaching experience is irrelevant to the success of the arrangement. What matters most, he says, is the insight they have as parents.

“Perhaps the most important teaching in a child’s life is done by his parents, not by some certified professional,” he says.

Homeschooling isn’t about sitting your kids down in the kitchen and teaching them in the formal sense, says Arai, but about “making sure the resources and opportunities for learning are available to them.” And that, any parent can do.

Here, then, are some methods that parents who would never consider homeschooling can pick up from those who do.

Lesson 1
Think Outside the Classroom
“Education can take place anywhere,” says homeschooler Gina Ro-zon of La Ronge, Sask.

When her ten-year-old daughter, Liana, became interested in rocks, Rozon didn’t just consult a book for information. “I phoned some friends until I found somebody who knew somebody who knew somebody who was married to a geologist. He was happy to come over and examine Li-ana’s rocks with her. He also told us about his job at a mine and the education required to do it.”

When homeschooler Kerri Paquette, a mother of six, was building a house in Lansdowne, Ont., she saw it as a learning opportunity. “My son Jonah’s first words after Mommy and Daddy were acoustic sealant,” she jokes.

“They learned math as we measured, about soil as we dug the foundation, about water while we did the plumbing, and about electricity when we did the electrical work. My children make the subjects come alive as much I do,” says Paquette.

Her kids, aged three to 13, continue to view the world as their classroom. They study food and plant growth through their organic garden. They learn about cows by talking to the neighbouring farmers. And they learn math, measuring and science while helping Paquette cook. “The other day my nine-year-old, Maddison, started learning a new educational computer program. The section on fractions was all new, but she knew it from when we bake.” Every activity, says Paquette, can include a lesson.

Lesson 2
Eliminate Learning Limits
A teacher with a class of 25 students can’t continue a unit on, say, the body just because one child is still keen—but you can.

“We don’t have a time frame that restricts our investigations, and we don’t have a daily schedule,” says Linda Clement, who homeschools her two daughters in Victoria. When her 14-year-old showed an interest in the human body, the avid student devoured dozens of relevant books and web sites. Janet’s curiosity took her in all sorts of directions: a dictionary of poisons and antidotes, an encyclopedia of medicine, books about human sexuality and much more.

“She covered anatomy, physiology, pathology, nutrition, fitness, physical development, first aid, homeopathy, cellular biology and chemistry in the process,” Clement says.

The benefit to your child goes beyond a thorough knowledge of a subject. Delving deeply into a topic builds independent research skills and a love of learning.

“If my children are interested in a subject,” says Clement, “we can go as far into the subject, answering as many questions as they have, for as long as is necessary. This freedom encourages their investigations.”

Lesson 3
Teach Your Kids Their Way
Some children are visual learners (they absorb best when they see something), some are auditory (they need to hear it), some are kinesthetic (they need hands-on experience) and some are a combination. Uncovering how your child learns best will increase your effectiveness in helping him or her with schoolwork. Unsure of your child’s learning style? Ask his teacher.

The way Melissa Cowl’s six children, aged three to 15, pick up on math highlights the stark differences in learning styles. “Our ten-year-old, Matthew, needs everything in black and white: Tell him what to do and how to do it, and it’s done,” says the Alliston, Ont., mother. “He had a math text that was too colourful, with a layout that was difficult to follow. I switched to a text that was more step-by-step, more concrete. Now he does math tests with no trouble.

“Our eight-year-old, Ryan, however, is very hands-on. For math, he uses a variety of colourful rods to figure out things like addition and fractions. He needs to see it and feel it. Not one of my kids learns the same way as the others.”

Lesson 4
Let Them See You Learn
One of the best parts of homeschooling is that you can continue your own education—and your kids can see you doing it and pick up on your love of learning. The same principle can be applied by any parent.

“Learning never ends,” says Julia Goforth, a homeschooling mother of four from St. Catharines. “We try new things all the time, whether I’m reading something new or we’re all tasting foods we’d never normally eat.”

Reversing the roles also has benefits, giving kids a sense of pride in their own newfound knowledge. “Today my 12-year-old daughter, Denise, explained to me how she figured out a math problem. She’d wound up with the right answer, but I didn’t understand how she managed it,” says Rozon. “Our kids are teaching us all the time.”

Learning doesn’t always go smooth-ly, for kids and adults alike, which is why it’s important for children to see their parents struggle with something new.

“My children watched me turn my life around by trying new things,” says Goforth. “I went from being a fearful, stay-at-home mom to an adventurous artist’s model and public speaker. Learning to belly dance and play the accordion is on my to-do list this year.”

Lesson 5
“Own” Your Children’s Education
“Helping them isn’t about showing your kids how to do the work. It’s about being genuinely interested and having regular conversations about what they’re learning,” says J. Gary Knowles, a professor at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education, part of the University of Toronto.

Rozon has a slew of suggestions for how to get more involved. “Get to know the teacher. Discuss ways to tailor the assignments to your child’s learning style. Spend time in the classroom. Ask for outlines of unit studies so you can find supplementary materials at the library or through videos. Read your child’s textbooks: If you work a few pages ahead, you’ll be able to help them with problems they encounter.”

Reading is another must, says Ro-zon. “Even after your children can read themselves, hearing somebody else read aloud is important. We nearly always have a book on the go; we read for at least a half hour before bedtime.”

The more engaged a parents is, the more the child benefits, adds Bruce Arai. “The evidence is clear: Parental involvement is one of the most important factors in school success.” Arai cites the National Longitudinal Survey of Children and Youth, sponsored by Human Resources Development Canada (HRDC), which is measuring all aspects of child development. “The hours children spend in class are but one element of their education,” states HRDC, which says parental support, along with teacher support and a positive attitude towards school, all contribute to academic success.

“I see every moment of every day as a learning experience,” says Goforth. “The most satisfying part of it is seeing the love of learning continued. I’m not squelching my children’s desire to learn by insisting they learn. They learn because they want to.”

Adds Jeanne Lambert, mother of Carey Graham: “Make the time, take the time, guide, lead, and encourage. If nothing else, your children learn you care, and that’s the most important lesson you can give them.”