Secret Wisdom of Being a Man

Michael, a husband and father, asks his grandfather, who’s been married for 50 years, “How did you do it? I’ve been married for seven years and I don’t think we’re going to make it to eight. I try to do everything I can to please my wife, but she’s never happy.”

His grandfather replies, “I had a lot to learn about being a man and about my role [as a husband] – knowledge a lot of men today have never had a chance to [acquire].”

“Like Michael, I was bewildered by today’s confusing messages about men,” says author Elliott Katz. In his book Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants, Katz uses the fictional yet typical narrative of a day Michael spends with his grandfather to impart his knowledge on this subject.

Grandpa's Advice:

• Show leadership. When a situation needs to be dealt with, step forward. Women don’t admire men who wait for others to solve their problems.
• Be decisive. If you avoid making decisions, you’re avoiding your responsibilities. Don’t say, “It’s up to you.” You may think you’re being nice, but you may end up frustrating your partner.
• Take responsibility. If something goes wrong, take responsibility and try to improve the situation. Don’t simply blame others for the way things are.
• Be strong. Control your emotions. Blowing up in anger only harms yourself and the people you care about.

This article was originally published in the November 2008 issue of Reader's Digest. Subscribe today and never miss an issue!