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Are You a Psychopath?

The Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R), published by Multi-Health Systems, is used worldwide and provides clinicians and researchers with a way of distinguishing psychopathic people from those who merely break the rules.

Professor Emeritus, Robert Hare Reader's Digest Canada, September 2011

What follows is a summary of key traits and behaviours of psychopathy. The list is adapted from my book Without Conscience (published by Guilford Press). Do not use these features to diagnose yourself or others. A formal assessment requires professional qualifications, access to the PCL-R scoring manual, and the integration of a considerable amount of information from different sources, contexts, and areas of a person’s life. That is, the features are part of the person’s personality and typical interactions with others, and not descriptive of functioning in only one or two domains, such as family or business.

Each feature can vary from absent to extreme. Some people may have a few features (e.g., impulsive, or glib, or cold and unfeeling) but this does not make them psychopathic. Psychopathy is viewed as a dimensional clinical construct in which people differ in degree rather than in kind. Most people fall at the very low end of this dimension. Some people are higher up the dimension, and although they may be problematic or distressing in various ways to those around them, they would not be considered to be psychopathic. Researchers and clinicians define individuals as psychopathic if they fall at the upper end of the dimension; that is, they have the majority the defining features in an extreme form over much of the lifespan. Only about one percent of the general population meets these conditions.

If you suspect that someone you know conforms to the profile described here, and if it is important for you to have an expert opinion, you should obtain the services of a registered forensic psychologist or psychiatrist. Readers may wish to view my website for material on psychopathy (www.hare.org), and a website for victims (www.aftermath-surviving-psychopathy.org).

Discover the ten key features of psychopathy: 

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53 comments

    All you folks who wrote who got out of nightmare relationships alive are very lucky, I know of 4 who did not, 2 very close to me. As part of my healing, I read Dr. Hare's book, "Without Conscience: The Disturbing World....", as mentioned in the article, because I needed to understand what happened and why. As I read it and others of the same type, I thought, everyone should read these since I have heard all too often people say things like, "Everyone is basically good" or some comment to blame the victim of a bully. Those kinds of comments are frustrating to me since I know too well, otherwise. My family has been through hell because of one of these truly frightening, completely ruthless, heartless individuals! Dr. Hare's book goes into a lot more detail that I am sure would be very informative to many people, perhaps even a life-saver!

    Submitted by M.M. on Wed. 2011-08-31 9:08am

    It has taken me three years and a lot of prayer to be finally free from a husband of almost forty years who I would say was close to being borderline psychopathic. He had his whole family convinced that I was the problem. I often wondered why this man stayed married to me, except to see me and our children suffer. Totally sick. He even had his doctor convinced that I was the problem. He once told me that he didn't think that this was the real world.
    We would be driving and all of a sudden would put a signal light and turn for no apparent reason. I would ask him, "Where are you going?" He would then get angry.
    How did I marry that? Good question. I would say that I had a lot of fear.
    I say that these people suffer from the three r's, rejection, rebellion, and religious. They are so totally screwed up.
    Today I am happy. I recognize these people all the time. There everywhere, and most of them have high positions in churches.

    Who shall set these people free?

    Submitted by abuse free on Fri. 2011-08-19 9:08am

    Having been married to a psychopath, one of my greatest fears to overcome, was the ability to trust. It took my friends over 4 yrs. to win my trust. I was unable to make and stay within a commitment, I would cancel before the event or not show up at all. Lack of trust is hard as most people are trustworthy, loving and helpfull. A psychopath destroys your ability to make sound decisions without second guessing everything you do. With counselling and loving family and friends I am now able to be more faithfull and trusting. I resent the money and emotional freedom he took from me. I was able to exit the relationship with a great deal of careful planning, a sense of needing to do this. I still fear the long term effects of this relationship. When I analize the distructiveness of this relationship, I wonder what I missed, as he distroyed my friendship and relationship, I miss my friends. I missed the addictions, I missed it all and yet I met him in my church. He always pressed only so far, it took a very short time for me to realize my mistake - getting out of it was harder. I don't mind sharing my story as it allows others to be brave and to know that there is a meaningfull life afer be hoodwinked by a psychopath.

    Submitted by Lucille Marie on Sat. 2011-08-20 12:08pm

    This is my ex-husband. When I see it so concisely put down on paper it is scarier than when I lived with him! Yikes. Nut case.

    Submitted by Susan Ards on Sat. 2011-08-20 6:08pm

    recently, unfortunately i found out that my brother law of 33 years is a p.p.,
    he picked a fight with me, about 3½ months ago, and, it is so hard to get over it. he bashed me with all of his verbal power, i'm terribly hurt.
    My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer at xmas time, so, i spent a great deal of time helping them out, like caring for her at home, cooking food for her and her family, lending them money, he hasn,t worked for some 25 years, she is a nurse: has worked hard all her life, but now i realize who, he is, and she supports him,
    because when we fought, she never attempted to stop him, then when i look at her and says, "you let him say these things to me," she said that it would be best that i leave now , that part is the hardest
    she was one of the closest thing to me, now i feel so betrayed

    Submitted by lyne on Mon. 2011-08-22 11:08am

    Wow, well my ex boyfriend would score a 32 on this test he was completely nuts. He would even tell me that he could not feel any emotions and that he would fake emotions to seem normal. He was really into movies and I could always see a relation to movie acting to his actions. I've even had to go to court with this retard after he threatened me with a knife. Thank god I left that nut case.

    Submitted by Free on Tue. 2011-08-23 5:08pm

    how do u do the quiz

    Submitted by zoozy on Tue. 2011-08-23 8:08pm

    I'm so glad someone has taken the time to research this and bring this information to light. I myself have come into contact with psychopaths. One having been an employer, and one being the father of my child. I didn't realize why these two acted the way they did, only that the way they interacted with others was frightening! Reading this quiz, I've come to realize that indeed, my former employer and ex boyfriend are high functioning psychopaths. Not that I'm a professional in diagnosing this particular disorder, but they both fit the bill... to a "T"! Its truly frightening, thinking that my child may grow up to be like her father in this area. After separating from him, my ability to trust others ( Esp. Men) has completely gone out the window. The concept of dating and growing to trust another person seems impossible. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm being stupid by not dating anymore, or looking for a father figure for my child, but I can't bear the thought of being conned into another relationship with yet another psychopath. Thank God this quiz is out in the world. Perhaps if I ever do regain some sort of ability to trust again and consider dating again, I can put this quiz to good use. I would GREATLY encourage all to do the same in every concept of life! It will save you a great deal of pain.

    Submitted by Vjenka on Wed. 2011-08-24 4:08pm

    very interesting article, but I think the tells above are far too general. I can't think of one guy I know that doesn't have at least halt of these traits, myself included. most things like being impulsive, and aggressive are traits of masculinity. lots of young boys are bored in school and get in trouble, cause the school system is designed for the female brain. there still are pyschopaths no doubt, and they do some terrible things, but lets not this blow outta hand like everybody that likes to organize, saying they got obsessive compulsive disorder.

    Submitted by Justin on Wed. 2011-08-24 9:08pm

    I was married to a psychopath who would have scored a 40 and most likely still does. At last count he has been married 15 times and has numerous children. I have managed to keep in contact with most of his children and some of his x wives so I know a great deal about his-story.

    I have an inquiring mind and I am given to inner reflection and so I set out to discover what the hell had happened when this man tore his way through my life. The last time I saw him was 31 years ago and I have no desire to ever see him again. I suffered terribly for at least five years as a result of his brainwashing and manipulation. I did heal with a great deal of help from many caring mental health workers. But most of all I give myself credit for never giving up on my quest for understanding. I have read your article and I am so glad there has been research done on this type of personality. I know this subject very well and will say this quiz is well done and well researched. We do need more help to deal with this type of disorder because so many of these people fall through the cracks of our legal systems and they do so much damage to our society.

    Living with a psychopath is like having an egg beater turned lose on your brain. I was lucky not to have been damaged beyond help as so little was known about these characters 30+ years ago.

    Submitted by JL Glaister on Thu. 2011-08-25 2:08am

    I don't even know if a psychopathic person would be able to admit that they have these traits.

    Submitted by dori on Fri. 2011-08-26 10:08am

    I found this article very interesting and feel it applies to some of my family. However your quiz is not exactly a quiz and I found it vague to figure out if you gave a 1 or a 2 if someone had some of the things mentioned but not all. Another thing is that in the article you mention a "very mean child" is an indication and yet in the quiz on #12 you don't mention this per se - I guess bullying is what you should to by. But what if none of the other things mentioned there apply? Do you give it 1, 2 or 0.
    Confused

    Submitted by B. Macdonald on Sun. 2011-08-28 4:08pm

    I have worked with a Psychopath for 10 years.This person is my subordinate,however because of her talents of lying,manipulation and absolute disregard for fair play,I have lived in fear of losing my job.It is impossible to reason with this type of person.My managers are aware that she is a "trouble maker".Unfortunately for me the status quo is to feed her ego.Everyone who works with this woman walks on eggshells because no one wants to face her wrath as I do on a daily basis.Does anyone have any solutions?Please.

    Submitted by sue on Sun. 2011-08-28 9:08pm

    Something I've known since I was a child is that my adopted brother is a psychopath. He's beaten the living crap out of me for as long as I can remember. This mutated into sexual abuse from the time I was 8 until I was 13. The entire world revolves around him and therefore owes him a living. He's never been able to hold down a job, he uses drugs and people with the same disregard for any consequences. My mother said that her wish is to see her two children together before she dies. I told her she should start looking for the Fountain of Youth because the devil will be wearing ice skates long before I will EVER be in the same city, much less the same room, as him. I haven't seen him in 21 years. There was an article written about him in our hometown newspaper a number of years ago. At that time my 'brother' was living in a garbage filled flop house with holes in the walls, still on crack. Karma is a ... well, you know. By the way, doing the test for him, he scored a perfect 40.

    Submitted by Casey MacLean on Mon. 2011-08-29 6:08am

    I too was in a two year relationship with a psychopathic monster. Well, myself and two, three..possible four other women.

    This sickest part about this man is that he had lost a daughter at a young age and would use that story to lure women and gain their sympathy. Sick, sick human being.

    I look back now and can see that although part of it is genetic, his parents...particularly his mother, was the missing piece to that puzzle. Overbearing, controlling and a bully to children. He learned to lie and manipulate his way through life at an early age.

    But I digress, this sick man devastated several lives and his response to us "I guess I will just have to hide until this &%#* storm is over...." Yes, hide until it all goes away and you can start again.

    He played on the fact that we all were 'nurturers...healers' and believe in fair play and integrity. We learned the hard way that his type pray on our type. I am grateful every day that we (this small group of women) took our power back from him and that we each recognized that he was the problem and not us.

    But what a legacy he leaves, so hard to trust another, to believe in commitment; to believe when a truly great person tells us we are beautiful and loved.

    Be well all that have suffered at the hands of a person like this…...

    Submitted by NSA on Mon. 2011-08-29 9:08am

    so how do you fix the problem if someone comes up high score on this list???

    Submitted by my name on Mon. 2011-08-29 10:08am

    I grew up with a psychopathic father who made life for my mother, my siblings and I absolute hell. He would score a 32 on this test. My husband on the other hand scores a 3. Of my 5 brothers, the oldest would score a 20, 10 for the 2nd, 4 for the 3rd, 30 for the 4th and 27 for the youngest. I scored a 4. This article and test was very eye opening.

    Submitted by Darlene on Mon. 2011-08-29 11:08am

    Interesting that from the comments almost all psychopaths are male

    Submitted by Gerald Gilroy on Mon. 2011-08-29 9:08pm

    Finally, an article that discusses psychopathic behaviour!!! I have been convinced for quite some time that my father falls into this category. He has completely destroyed every life that has come across his path... and anyone connected with his target 'of the moment'! Complete families of all types have been violated and forever affected!!! Yet only on very rare occasions would someone dare to challenge him on the harm he has caused!!! Just as the article states, my father always victimized the 'nice people who wouldn't dare think of fighting back' and if he found himself confronted by a 'self-thinking, strong-minded victim', he would terrorize them until they had absolutely no self-worth or strength left and ultimately their life too was destroyed!!! He has never once shown remorse !!!
    This article raises many questions I would like to ask the professionals who participated in the research of this subject....is that possible???

    In addition to the day to day terror to be in complete control, the fear he instills in people, and his need to manipulate for financial gain etc. etc. etc.......he has a history of sexually abusing women!!! He is now 86 yrs. of age and as recently as ten years ago, he confined a woman in his home and raped her.....he told her he was doing her a favour because she and her husband no longer had sex!!!
    To the professionals......is deviant and violent sexual behaviour part of the psychopathic profile???? Would it be possible for me to participate in your research???? I have many more such disturbing examples and situations that I would gladly share!!! This is a subject that deserves much more attention and clarification!!!
    Barb

    Submitted by Barb A. B. on Tue. 2011-08-30 2:08am

    Why can't I do the quiz? Where is it?

    Submitted by JAR on Thu. 2011-09-01 6:09pm

    Thank you for this site. Some years ago I wrote to Dr. Hare about my psychopath former husband, a then prominent psychologist. Sadly I had no response nor help anywhere and he like a true blooded psychopath, destroyed my life, career, finances, social standing, stalked me, wore me down, forced me into bankruptcy, had me fired from survival jobs, tried to have me killed and left me bereft struggling for survival and desparately trying to keep a relationship with our only child as a result of emotional and financial ruin. I almost went under the witness protection act. A book was in the making but I let it go. Now I will not anymore. Aftermath has given me the courage and strength I need to come out of hiding. Thank you again for allowing me to know why I had no help. It was not me after all....I am a strong-willed intuitive wise woman and this is my time. I have survived and will continue to move forward.

    Submitted by Nina on Fri. 2011-09-02 9:09pm

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I am so grateful for this article. Having grown up believing eveyone lived by the Golden Rule - Do unto others as you would have them do unto you - I was totally unprepared, naive, and vulnerable when I encountered this person in my life who obviously is a psychopath. Most of the traits fit her to a T. She wrecked my second marriage but it is true the only way to protect oneself from a psychopath is to "run the other way". Then deal with the devastating emotional fall-out she created in three short years. Thank God it was not 40 like many people report. Wisdom is power. I will not be conned by a manipulative, ego-centric, glib, superficial, psychopath ever again.

    Submitted by Connie on Wed. 2011-09-07 10:09am

    The most horrible thing I find about this "disorder", especially after you have experienced it first hand, is the complete frustration at trying to explain it to anyone not within the field without them looking at you like you have two heads. This affects us is ways most people can't even imagine. Because the successful ones seek out (and obtain) positions of power and authority all the way to the highest levels of office and within corporations.

    Submitted by Julian Maytum on Thu. 2011-09-08 3:09pm

    I typed in on line through readers digest to find the test to take by dr. Hare and this page is what came up- so where is the 20 point questionnaire?????

    Submitted by marni mueller on Thu. 2011-09-08 7:09pm

    You certainly hit the target right on the mark. Incredibly it is at this present moment in my life i am dealing with a career advancement as i wind down the company i operate in the same line of work. Several very well paying and key title positions were available to me. I was very confident and moreover few would argue the most competent and experienced person for either spot. Unfortunately a former co-worker was employed with one of the companies. I had to suffer the humilation of being given 2 weeks disciniplary leave because of his twisted and manipulative scheming. Retaliation for what he perceived as an attack on his ability or what have you. He failed to follow very important aspects of the project he was tasked to manage as directed by myself. He was given a slap on the wrist. Several other similar incidents followed and he soon quit. He went so far as to call the rcmp and told them that i threatened to rape his daughter!!!!! Accused me of tampering with his vehicle and the list goes on. He now has offered up his opnion of me to the people directly involved in the position i was looking to apply for. He was also a project manager and i was contracting work from the company and the mind games, controlling, manipulative behaviour continued. His e-mails with myself when he was being the psycho were never cc or fw'd to others in the company he worked. But when he was trying to justify his position the mail was cc'd and fwd'd to all that were on the project team. Then another management person was in the loop and he was soon caught in the web of deceit and the psycho had him convinced i was trouble and wouldnt fit in with the company. Apparently he was maybe onto the pyscho but was set up and knocked down and was terminated. Thats just how these sick bastards work. As i am finding out, the person psycho had fired, seems to being showing some of the traits. He is now employed at the other location i was courting. He knew about that and made certain he would get in there. He has zero qualifications ... He does not know i am still in the process of securing a senior position and my contact there does not know that we have had issues from the past let alone know each other. I fear for my very future right now .... These two masters of misery worked as a team to destroy me ..... Both have failed at every job they have held but along the way they ruined many many more with their evil. Company 2 guy is one step from a political job and mr. Psycho #1 is a church going hypocrite. He has the indicators of bi-polarism.... Yet in conversation he has said his ex wife had the disorder. On my last billing to mr. Psycho he contested the amount which he finally changed his mind about after i produced the info etc. He closed by saying not to bother him with banter regarding this billing. Banter!!!!!! I dealt with the matter in strictly a professional manner. Oh!!!! Forgot to mention... That last e-mail wasn't cc'd or fwd'd to anyone... People be very aware !!!!!!! Like the good doctor said in the article... These menacing sickos will wreak havoc, misery and ruin innocent peoples lives and not show any remorse ,,,, break into a sweat... Their heart rate likely doesnt even twitch!!!!

     

    Submitted by DWIGHT SWAN on Mon. 2011-09-12 4:09pm

    So, please tell me - where is this test that you invite us to take? i would appreciate a direct link. thnx

    Submitted by Jone on Fri. 2011-09-16 1:09am

    I am really disappointed about these so called characteristics. They are so vague and general. Almost everyone I know has some of these characteristics, including myself. Also, many will score extreme positive on some and extreme negative on the others. I find this list quite useless! Many who have commented here seem to hate their ex's and as such seem to think that they were all psychopaths!!

    Submitted by Chat on Fri. 2011-09-16 4:09pm

    My Youtube video and MySpace blog both tilted "Victims of Corporate Terrorism" tells our story of having tangled with psychopaths in authority. How does one fight against that?

    Submitted by Terrorism Survivor on Mon. 2011-09-26 2:09am

    I was married to one for 7 years and had 3 children with him and one from a previous marriage. I knew something was wrong but didn't know what. I finally left him after finding him molesting my two girls (5&8). Some 13 years later while at Police College, I studied psychology and we had to do a report/study on a known murderer to determine if they were a psychopath. At first I chose Lizzie Borden. Many classmates chose Manson, Dracula etc. I finally handed in my report to the professor. He was in shock...my subject had 17 out of the 20 on the Hare checklist.....17!! My subject? My ex-husband! When my Proff handed me back the report a few days later, he had tears in his eyes and told me he was sorry for everything I've endured, and told me how strong of a woman I am to still be here. WE can escape, but it takes more courage than is almost humanly possible. I pray for all the men and women who are "stuck" and pray that one day they will find escape. Keep strong....not all of us will survive! WE ARE WORTH IT!!

    Submitted by Jo-An Gascon on Wed. 2011-09-28 12:09pm

    i was married to a psychopath---went thru an unreal, unbelievable, etc. divorce and couldnt even reason as to why this was happening to our family and home- i discussed things that came to surface and went to my family doctor and told him what was happening ie: credit card bills- even leaving a 5yr old to look after a 2yr old at nite while i was at work-- the things that i was noticing seemed unreal, so i went to the doctor-- my wife would have nothing to do with going to talk to him-- she told me that she was leaving and when i asked her why--quote " i need my space", in my defence, i am not a drunk, nor a liar or a wife beater, love my kids to death, and i do not pull the wings off flies. she did leave and i went for councelling, talked to a psychiatrist and he said what i told him was text book stuff and that i was not crazy and the most important thing was that he believed me. years later, about 14 or 15, my family doctor called me and wanted to talk to me, i had just had a physical and expected bad news for whatever reason, no, he wanted to talk to me about my ex-wife----- he told me that he fired her as a patient, for various reasons, lying being one reason, and that she was seeing a psychiatrist who also fired her as a patient and now he could tell me the reasons for what happened to family and home--- diagnosed psychopath!!!!!! what the doctor told me was devestating to say the least-- i guess i now had an answer but it didnt help me to understand. i went and got councelling which did some good and was told to quit looking for an answer or why because there was no reason as to why--- this person just did what she did and did it without any feeling or concience whatsoever. i kind of understand better now than i did but i know that i will never be the same , it still angers me abour what happened, and how she got people to feel sorry for her, give her money, charm judges and lawyers into actually believing her stories--this was explained to me-- i am ok, even happy, but the memories and what i have learned about these people still stuns me. the best defence is to be aware of psychopaths and if concerned, go to your doctor. these are very very very dangerous people.

    dfr

    Submitted by david f. ross on Thu. 2011-10-06 4:10pm

    Congratulations to those, who were able to get out of those situations alive. I survived but my two children didn't. My ex was definitelly a psychopath, but also a coward. he knew I would fight back, so he chose to take it out on our hepless children. They were murdered in July 1986. There is a book written about it, NO Remorse by Kirstie McLellan, available on Amazon.ca.
    The article is perfectly correct in many aspects. One is, it takes a very long time to recognize and put together the psychopath's patterns of behaviour. The second one is their absolute need to win, regardless of the suffering of others.
    Leave, if you can, but often they create circumstances which don't allow for that. They perceive the woman leaving as her victory, something he will not allow to happen.

    Submitted by Liba Dolejs on Sun. 2011-10-09 11:10am

    My ex-husband is a psychopath,he always thought of himself as godly and had quite the humerous converstations as all the things happeneing to him yet all lies,the cheating,the abuse,substance abuse
    the very cold icey eyes that had absoulutly no emtion or sympathy towards anyone,anti social always blamed not going out or visiting as he doesn't like to eat other people's food,the manipulation espicially the mind games,I am so happy that I divorced him ,but he still haunts me and I am scared of him,he's very sneaky,I think back how could I have ever said "I do" to this monster,creep,what was I thinking....

    Submitted by cat on Sun. 2011-10-23 8:10pm

    Just finished reading I Hate His Ex by Alex Cooper. Brilliant read for anyone having relationship troubles to do with past relationships x

    Submitted by rosie on Fri. 2012-01-06 5:01am

    this article has really helped me in my research about the psychopaths. thankyou. :)

    Submitted by radhika panchal on Tue. 2012-05-08 2:05am

    I just stumbled into a Reader's Digest article in a magazine in September 2011, and I thought, Well, here we go again with Robert Hare. My family on both sides is riddled with psychopaths. I learned at age 11 from John Steinbeck's :"East of Eden", that I was not as alone in the world as I had thought. It's a very long, semi-autobiographical book set in California just after World War I. Steinbeck was better known as a narrative story-teller, such as "Hawaii" and "Airport", both made into hit movies, but with "East of Eden" he produced a brilliant book that in Chapter 10 introduced the infamous "Kathy" who burned her parents alive in their home at the age of 14, and at the end of her life by suicide, as "Kate" a multiple murderer owner of brothels. I recognized her from the first paragraph as being like many of my relatives, and I've been life-long grateful to Steinbeck for freeing me from my isolation. I've read the book many times in adulthood. If you decide to read it, be sure to get the original edition in 1952. He re-edited it on its 20th printing in 1972, and inexplicably watered down its power and truth. My local library tracked down the original edition for me, and even it had been tampered with. I decided his narrative story-teller won out over writer of profound truths. His original portrait of Kate was eerily, profoundly real. At the age of 11, I recognized every tiny sentence and thought Kate had, and wondered how it was that I could so intimately recognize such a monster at the age of 11. I'm 68 now, and the answer lay in her psychopathy, which has to be the Number One single word in my life. It describes a flood of them, from birth right through today. I am the mother of one. He became a habitual young offender at the age of 14, and after his last misadventure that I knew about, the police took him to Children's Aid, who took him to a child psychiatrist. I met that doctor and told him I thought he was a psychopath, drawing on all the others I had been exposed to. He met with us both and separately, and when it was my turn to speak with him separately, he told me that my son was a very dangerous psychopath and that I had to abandon him right then and there that day, never to see or speak with him again. He had a private exit out the back of his office, and he wanted to escort me to my car out of my son's sight, and arrange for Children's Aid to take permanent custody of him. I was supposed to go home, pack that very day, move out to a province far away, or even better, return to the U.S. under an assumed name, and watch my back for the rest of my life. I told him that I loved my son, and that having been exposed to it since childhood, I would be in a better position to help him than Children's Aid. That angered him more than I would have expected. He described in minute detail what my life would be like if I kept him. I was a professional, very good money maker, and the shrink could have taken down his "psychiatrist" shingle and put up a "psychic, 30-year guarantees" sign instead. He predicted my son would go to university just long enough to find an attractive woman with a good career future, to replace my income. My son met her in his second week at university. He said she would likely have wealthy parents who doted on her, and he said my son would stay with me for many years to come, until my health was shattered (I had a ruptured brain aneurysm), and was financially destitute (I had earned $1.5 million in my last 10 years of work, and declared bankruptcy in my 20th year, and now barely exist on a pittance of government pension. He had gone through my multitude of RRSPs, had a generous inheritance, and nothing was left). The doctor told me that once I was in a ruined state, to avoid becoming a financial liability to him, because he would kill me. That's where it's at for me today. He tosses me enough money to keep me alive, for now. He and his enabler from hell insisted I move closer to them-- they were tired of rushing me to hospital in the town I had been living in which was two hours away. I had bought a lovely little house on a lake, a half acre of personal forest, and swarms of loons that gathered at my beach at midnight every night-- i.e., heaven. His true love bought a little house near theirs, and rents it to me cheaply; that was so that I could keep my half dozen cats and dogs. I weighed 115 pounds when I left my little Shangra La. The next year I weighed 95 pounds, and this year I weigh 84 pounds. He has rewritten his history. He's the hero now, and I'm a bitter hanger-on. He had read Dr. Hare's "Psycopaths Among Us", and wrote to him that he was a psychopath. Dr. Hare responded almost immediately that it was unusual for psychopaths to acknowledge it. By the time my son got that reply, he had decided that no, he definitely was not one. Unfortunately for me, the brain aneurism rupture rendered me incapable of working anymore. I was well-educated, a member of Mensa, and all that has drifted out of my reach, probably permanently. I still have $7,000 left in a bank, but I have to go through the trustees to get at it-- the bankruptcy was discharged in September 2011. If I can get it, I intend to go back to school and learn a career I think I could perform. I started university at the age of 17 and was still there at age 27, as a fine arts major. I think I could learn to be a tattoo artist, and I want to do that. That's just a small piece of my story. I read all your stories, and I suspect that people who have never been through the nightmare of a psychopath could not possibly understand what you've written. I do. I get it. Don't give up. Work to recover yourselves, even modestly. Tally-ho, fellow victims. If you're able to read this, and the other letters here, you're able to rediscover yourself, no matter how battered you were/are. Somebody mentioned they'd love to see Dr. Hare's magic 20 questions. You're never going to find it. He sells a license to use it. In my learned opinion, Dr. Hare is himself a psychopath: I discerned that at my first reading of his little book. Their main goal is to convince people they are not what they are, and that they are what they are not. Nice work, Robert. You've been a slice, and "world reknown"!

    Submitted by G. Brown on Wed. 2012-10-17 9:10pm

    Sorry about your experience but can you not see that your friend needs compassionate understanding, not that she has "betrayed"you? Sure, leave her alone from now on, but grant her some grace.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Fri. 2013-02-08 10:02am

    I'm so very sorry for your loss. May God bring you continual comfort and hope.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sun. 2012-10-14 1:10am

    Psycopathy, like the article says, is a matter of degree. I'm quite sure you and many others possess these qualities in some degree or another but not necessarily to the extreme degree that psycopaths do.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Wed. 2012-08-22 6:08pm

    Just wondering why you say religious? I am not disputing you, just wanting you to clarify a bit. I agree with you and would like to know what you think and have noticed.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Mon. 2012-06-25 8:06pm

    How do you do the quiz

     

    Submitted by Anonymous on Wed. 2012-06-06 9:06pm

    Why has your employer not done anything to resolve this hostile working environment you are in? If they know she's a troublemaker, they should be doing something about it. This is bullying in the workplace and it needs to stop.

    As for what YOU should do - I would recommend that everyone who works with this woman band together and stand up to this nut - telling her she has no more power over any of you and you all refuse to put up with it any longer is your best bet. She's not likely to confront you as a group, and as long as you stand together, you have strength in your numbers. I hope you're able to find the courage to do this, so you're not being victimized any longer.

    Good luck!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Wed. 2011-11-30 12:11pm

    Can you please elaborate on what you said about the school system being designed for the female brain? I have a brother who didn't do very well in school, but I believe he's a really smart guy. it's hard to see him now without much direction or self esteem, having dropped out half way through high school.  I wish I knew how to help him!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Fri. 2011-10-28 2:10pm

    I have read the article regarding psycopaths and would very much like to get a copy of the quiz.


    I believe I am living with a psycopath in my extended family.


     


    Sandra

    Submitted by Anonymous on Fri. 2011-10-21 10:10pm

    SDue to copyright regulations, we had to remove the quiz part of this article. However, you may still read about the charateristics above. We apologize for the inconvenience.

    Submitted by Maria Barillaro on Fri. 2011-09-16 12:09pm

    sorry to burst your bubble but my wife is a psychopath she can't feel anything ,will do or say anything with no reguard for our children,neighbours, family,is a total manipulating megamania control freak .she had a very rough upbringing about the worst you could possilbe amagine so i try to live with it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sun. 2011-09-04 10:09am

    Unfortunately, due to copyright issues, we had to remove the coring method from this article. However, you may still read through the points. Each of the characteristics above describes a psychopath. We apologize for the inconvenience.

    - Reader's Digest Web Editorial Team

    Submitted by Maria Barillaro on Fri. 2011-09-02 8:09am

    Justin, I disagree.  My son is 15 years old.  He is a healthy, socially competent teenager.  Not a nerd, lots of friends, average in school.  He scored 0 to 1 on this test.  I can't flip back to the test in this window, but I believe that my older brother would score zero as well.  My husband would score under 2.  It's the people you hang out with.  

    Submitted by Anonymous on Mon. 2011-08-29 11:08pm

    I'd look for another job.  As Colleen Smith says "Run the other way!"  Nobody should have to work under those stressful, and degrading, circumstances.  When you leave she'll find another victim, or more victims.  Perhaps the managers will eventually clue into the fact that this person is really only interested in causing trouble for everyone else and to try to prove herself superior to everyone else too!  And perhaps they will finally realize they are not really beneficial for their business!!  Degrading others and making themselves look superior is what makes psychopaths tick!  I know because I was a victim of a female one for years and years of my life, and she wrecked my self-esteem.


     

    Submitted by Anonymous on Mon. 2011-08-29 9:08pm

    Until the church admits & recognizes these psychopaths, we will never truly be set free.

     

    Submitted by Anonymous on Mon. 2011-08-29 1:08pm

    I hear your story....It's not fun to live with "unpredictable" behaviour..I too could relate to your story...they are very"cunning, baffleing, and powerful", I blamed alot on alchol abuse,but I wonder now if it was more "complex' than that..personality disorder,etc...trying to figure it out makes me crazy!!! It ruins alot of lives, this I do know..and yes, i used to blame myself..not no more!!!...I to can recognize that behaviour sooner...Treating others as I'd like to be treated, is not always good for us..get out is!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Thu. 2011-08-25 11:08am

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