Cold, Hard Facts About Being Warm and Fuzzy

Cultivating a loving relationship with a spouse or partner is one way to increase your odds of having a healthy future. Numerous studies have documented the protective benefits of a good marriage and the negative effects of a marriage filled with strife or marred by indifference. But you need more than one central relationship to get the most from social connection.

It’s equally important to cultivate friends whose interests and outlook on life match your own. Try also to find ways to connect with your community; it will enrich your life and elevate your sense of self-worth.

Strategies to Stay Connected

Researchers observed that retired people who devote about 40 hours of volunteer time a year to projects aimed at helping the disadvantaged (working at a local food bank, or mentoring a youngster) had a 30 per cent lower risk of dying during the seven-year study than their less socially engaged peers. Clearly, doing good for others also does a lot of good for you.

Recreational activities will also expand your circle of friends. Whether you want to learn a computer program or need help perfecting a chocolate soufflé, you can probably find a class or club that will fulfill your need while introducing you to people with similar interests. If you live near a college, find out what continuing education classes they offer. Many public school districts offer community education programs as well.

A walking club or a reading group will also lead you to people who want to make friends. As John W. Rowe, M.D., and Robert L. Kahn, Ph.D., note in their book Successful Aging, humans “are hardwired, genetically programmed, to develop and function by interacting with others. Talking, touching, and relating to others is essential to our well-being. These facts are not unique to children or to older adults; they apply to all of us, from birth to death.” Despite the difficulty of making friends, we must remember that we need them as much as we need food, water, and light.

Meeting Your Basic Needs

Researchers say that social support is the key to a long and happy life. But what exactly is social support? The short answer is the degree to which a person’s basic social needs are met through interaction with others. Social support fulfills the most basic human needs of:

• Being cared for and loved

• Sharing intimacy

• Being esteemed and valued; having your personal worth confirmed

• Companionship, communication, and a sense of belonging

• Easy access to information, advice, and guidance from others

• Material and financial assistance in times of need.

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